Wishing our American friends and family a very happy Thanksgiving. Be Thankful… there is so much to be grateful for.
Drawn by Lana Carbon
Happy Friday the 13th
There is no greater representative of Friday the 13th than Jason Vorhees.
Lest We Forget
It feels very strange to not attend a ceremony today. Please remember those who have sacrificed for our freedom.
31 Movies for 31 Days of Hallowe'en 2020
By JOHN LILIES & LANA CARBON
NOVEMBER 1ST, 2020
[John] Well, here we are, after a summer of not publishing any articles, Octoberwe’en came for a visit and just as we do every year, we watched 31 movies to celebrate. Or, maybe we watched 31 and Lana watched 62.
Last year, I realized that it becomes more challenging each year, to accomplish our 31 for 31 without it becoming stressful. So, after we made it through Octoberwe’en 2019, our friend, Jenna Khalikis, brilliantly suggested short films for this year (thank you, Jenna!!).
I immediately jumped on board but Lana didn't agree that short films really count towards our goal. I always remind him that it's our tradition and thus we make the rules, but he just couldn't get behind 31 short films being enough.
So, this year, we have 31 short movies that we watched together, and 31 so-bad-they're-good (full-length) movies that Lana took on all by himself. I had to listen to some of them as he watched and I accomplished other life tasks, so you can believe me when I say that some of them sounded so-bad-they're-positively-wretched.
[Lana] Admittedly, some of them turned out to be so-bad-they-weren’t-that-great, but wretched is a strong word… that may or may not be fitting.
[John] I feel comfortable maintaining my word choice.
This year, for short films, we wanted to watch ones that are available online for open access, so all of the shorts are available on YouTube and/or the movie's own website. For the So-Bad-They're-Good titles, we have an extensive collection from which we pull our selections, so you may need to dig deep for some of them if you decide to find them and try them out.
We hope you enjoy them all!! Or, at least, we hope you find them entertaining in some respect. Settle in and get comfy… you have a few pages to read now…
Short Movies
1. Don't Stare (2018) (U.S.) - 8 minutes, YouTube
John’s description: Guy comes home with old television set from his grandma. TV doesn't work. There's a sound outside, so he goes to look and sees a young girl standing a few metres away. He runs back inside. A short moment later, he answers a knock at the door and it's the girl. Things go sideways from there.
Our thoughts:
[John] Not the worst start to a '31' run. It actually held my attention.
[Lana] I thought it was exceptional and I'm very impressed that they used black-eyed children as opposed to the normal horror tropes.
2. Room 13 (2017) (U.S.) - 25 minutes, YouTube
John’s description: A film student convinces a group of his friends to go on a wee road trip to film a documentary at an abandoned haunted hotel. Abandoned haunted hotel stuff happens.
Our thoughts:
[John] I pose this to you... watch it and tell us what you notice that could make for some seriously lacking details. Hints: Where is their film equipment? What is the chain really accomplishing? Why hide with a flashlight on, and then activate a glow stick for your light source? Oof, this was rough.
[Lana] Future filmmakers, please pay attention to your details. If it doesn't make sense, maybe re-think it.
3. The Smiling Man (2016) (U.S.) - 6 minutes, YouTube
John’s description: A little girl, balloons, a strange man in the house, and blood.
Our thoughts:
[John] We first saw this one when it was originally making its rounds online, and the second viewing was just as creepy as the first.
[Lana] This is how to do a short horror; I just wish it was longer. Excellent performance by the smiling man. Actually, the kid did really well, too.
4. The Man in the Rabbit Mask (2017) (Canada) - 5 minutes, YouTube, Akuma Films
John’s description: Two young girls play a new game involving a candle, a rhyme, a man in a rabbit mask, and an irresistible chocolate. What could possibly go wrong?
Our thoughts:
[John] Actually not bad. This completely held my attention and it looks like it is Canadian, to boot!
[Lana] I quite enjoy creepy pasta-style stories and this is another one that I wish was a little bit longer.
[John] Lana just had to explain to me what creepy pasta is. Look Ma Lilies, I’m learning things!
[Lana] I think Brother Carbon is the one to whom you should be saying that.
[John] Hey, Brother Carbon! I learned something! Are you proud?
5. Curve (2016) (Australia) - 10 minutes, YouTube or click here
John’s description: A girl finds herself in a horribly uncomfortable situation and does her best to cling to life. Horribly uncomfortable stuff happens.
[Lana] At this point, I would just love to point out the way John attempts to avoid giving out spoilers for the movies. The “stuff happens” line quickly becomes my favourite part of writing this article.
Our thoughts:
[John] Suggested to us by Sister Lilies, we decided to go for it and I quite liked it. Sister Lilies said it really messed with her and while it didn't mess me up at all, it certainly captured my attention and tightened my chest a bit. This was a good 10-minute investment. Lana and I had a discussion about whether or not he considers this a horror movie versus a thriller and Lana still isn’t sure about it. In fact, even in finalizing this article, we had another discussion about it. However, he agreed to include it on the list because of the suspense and potential supernatural element to it, even if it doesn’t scream “Hallowe’en” to him.
[Lana] Thrillers certainly fit into our requirements for this list. Heck, we have had comedies on here. My query is whether or not it was “Hallowe’enie” enough. I think, to make this particular collection, the movie has to be something that you can enjoy that little bit extra because you watch it on (or near) Hallowe’en. Using that as my prerequisite, that is why I questioned it.
[John] I, personally, think that a good thriller can be just as horrific as a “horror” movie and not all horror movies need to be violent, graphic, and gory. “Hallowe’enie” and what provides that extra enjoyment near Hallowe’en, is so subjective that it’s difficult to define.
[Lana] Despite my questioning of this film fitting our criteria, this is quite a suspenseful short; it makes you wonder how, exactly, she got there and what was happening across the way.
6. To the Other Side (2014) (Spain) - 20 minutes, YouTube
John’s description: A mirror is a gateway to another world... but who are the lucky few to cross through?
Our thoughts:
[John] I want more. Enough said.
[Lana] Just long enough to get us totally invested before ending abruptly, yet ending well. This could easily be turned into a full-length movie.
7. Vincent (1982) (U.S.) - 6 minutes, YouTube
John’s description: An animated short by Tim Burton, narrated by Vincent Price. Need we say more?
Our thoughts:
[John] This was not a new one for us and I could watch it another thousand times.
[Lana] I quite appreciate Tim Burton and who doesn't have a little bit of Vincent inside of them?
8. Circles (2019) (UK) - 14 minutes, YouTube
John’s description: People who like aliens want other people to believe in aliens. Stuff happens. Some bloody stuff happens, too. Oh, and there's a power drill.
Our thoughts:
[John] So, this one might have been a bit of a miss. I really don't know what else to say.
[Lana] Maybe, if you want people to believe in aliens, you should probably wear a better mask.
9. The Goblin Baby (2014) (U.S.) - 16 minutes, YouTube
John’s description: A woman is experiencing her first year of motherhood but knows that something is amiss.
Our thoughts:
[John] This one was a bit confusing at first but kind of cool. Also, I'm finding it difficult to say much about these films because they're so short that too many words could easily give them away.
[Lana] I love it when they bring folklore and mythology into the stories.
[John] Was that too many words? Did you just give it all away?
[Lana] I think the title does that.
10. Black-Eyed Child (2018) (Spain) - 9 minutes, YouTube
John’s description: A terminally ill woman receives a special visit. Stuff happens... and maybe a bit of gross stuff happens.
Our thoughts:
[John] I didn't mind this one. Was it fantastic? No. But, it didn't allow my attention to waiver and it did make me think a bit.
[Lana] It was interesting and it held my attention. Even if it was kind of gross.
11. Mr. Creak (2015) (England) - 4 minutes, YouTube
John’s description: A woman returns to her childhood home and things maybe don't go so well. Don't move a muscle... Don't look up.
Our thoughts:
[John] I quite liked this one. I dare not say more.
[Lana] I liked it but it needed to be longer. You'd almost think these movies are supposed to be shorts, or something.
12. Welcome to Paradise (2015) (Denmark) - 13 minutes, YouTube
John’s description: A young man may have the next messiah within him... or maybe the antichrist...?
Our thoughts:
[John] This one confused me a bit. I'll leave it at that.
[Lana] Huh? Just, huh.
[John] Yep.
13. Flatmates (2018) (England) - 8 minutes, YouTube
John’s description: A young woman moves into a newly vacated apartment, unknowing of its history. Guess what happens?
[Lana] Stuff?
[John] Stuff.
Our thoughts:
[John] Meh. This one didn't do much for me. Not a new concept and not done particularly well.
[Lana] Yeah. What she said.
14. The Armoire (2019) (U.S.) - 14 minutes, YouTube
John’s description: A young woman moves to LA and picks up a used armoire abandoned on the street. Used armoire stuff happens.
Our thoughts:
[John] Kind of cool. Beware used furniture, kids.
[Lana] Spoiler alert... if the short is called "Armoire", you pick up an armoire, weird stuff starts happening and you don't get rid of the armoire, you may want to rethink your decision-making.
[John] Um… are you talking about dimensional or fourth-wall kind of character stuff?
[Lana] Ha… I guess I am.
15. The Last Halloween (2014) (Canada) - 10 minutes, YouTube
John’s description: Four kids go trick-or-treating and stuff happens. It's too late, Jack.
Our thoughts:
[John] As a child, there was always an aspect of trick-or-treating that creeped me out - I never liked approaching strangers' homes because I always wondered what was going on inside and if it was an okay place. This short film made me wonder if, perhaps, my fear should have been in the other costumed kiddies.
[Lana] I really liked it. It's not often that a movie surprises me but I wasn't expecting this. Side note: You may see a familiar face at the second house, if you're a fan of Supernatural.
16. Insomnia (2017) (UK) - 11 minutes, YouTube
John’s description: A woman experiences insomnia and her psychiatrist prescribes some medication to help her. Nightmares aren't much fun.
[Lana] Are you saying that nightmarish stuff happens?
[John] It’s possible that nightmarish stuff maybe happens, yes.
Our thoughts:
[John] Well. Maybe 11 minutes was too long for this one. I don't really know what else to tell you.
[Lana] Meh. You can probably skip this one.
17. Dough (2015) (U.S.) - 21 minutes, YouTube
John’s description: A runaway lands at a farm house. Farm house stuff happens.
Our thoughts:
[John] Well, that got violent. So... um... dough, eh?
[Lana] *Blank stare*
[John] Oof.
[Lana] I honestly have no words for this one.
18. Ghost Tour (2015) (U.S.) - 7 minutes, YouTube
John’s description: A guide of a ghosty tour finally experiences something maybe ghosty in nature...but what is it, exactly?
Our thoughts:
[John] Um... was that the end? Did they forget something? I'm not sure what we just watched.
[Lana] Well, that's one way to have a ghost tour.
19. Hunger (2014) (U.S.) - 18 minutes, YouTube
John’s description: A mother and her daughter are on the run. A mother will do anything she can for her child. Would every mother go this far?
Our thoughts:
[John] This one wasn't bad. What was bad, however, was that for some truly odd and twisted reason, the only thing going through my head after the movie ended was, "Sometimes you feel like a nut. Sometimes you don't."
[Lana] “When you've got the munchies, nothing else will do.” And, I'm not talking about Hostess potato chips.
[John] I want chips. Do we have any chips?
[Lana] Mmmmmm… chips.
20. Blackwood (2019) (Australia) - 11 minutes, YouTube
John’s description: A sound recordist on a movie crew, inadvertently records an odd sound. Beware the forest.
Our thoughts:
[John] My attention did not waiver and I think that's a good sign, at least for suspense. It wasn't a bad movie. It wasn't a great movie.
[Lana] Suspenseful enough that it draws you in, and that's a good thing.
21. Momo (2019) (U.S.) - 7 minutes, YouTube
John’s description: A woman is terrorized by a monster and monster-type stuff happens.
Our thoughts:
[John] Inconsistencies distract me. I was distracted. And, maybe I laughed a little.
[Lana] I always watch for movement from my movie monsters; it can be super creepy, especially when it runs after you like a blood-soaked penguin.
22. The Storm (2013) (U.S.) - 14 minutes, YouTube
John’s description: A remote scientific research station, monsters, and the scientists who created them. What could go right?
Our thoughts:
[John] Basically, this was a low-budget interpretation of a scene from movies such as, The Thing. I will say, however, one of the smartest moves I've seen a character make, is in this film - take off your shoes when you are trying to be quiet. Also... turn off your walkie-talkie. One out of two is okay, I guess?
[Lana] It felt like the middle of a really bad sci-fi movie.
[John] A really-bad-it’s-fantastically-splendid sci-fi movie?
[Lana] Um… not likely.
23. Alone Time (2019) (U.S.) - 12 minutes, YouTube
John’s description: A young woman in the city needs some time away.
Our thoughts:
[John] Well... that made me really not want to go on a solo camping trip.
[Lana] I don't want to be stalked.
[John] Wait, what? She was being stalked?
[Lana] Was she? I was just stating a fact.
[John] So, I shouldn’t stalk you?
[Lana] You’re the exception.
[John] Can I eat chips while I stalk you?
[Lana] We’ll talk about that later.
[John] Blargh.
24. An Open Window (2017) (UK) - 20 minutes, YouTube
John’s description: Sometimes you just shouldn't trust salespeople. Or mirrors.
Our thoughts:
[John] I've always been a little curious about the world on the other side of the mirror.
[Lana] I didn't mind this one, as I reflect on it.
25. Behind Closed Doors (2009) (UK) - 6 minutes, YouTube (Animated)
John’s description: A little boy experiences a monster, in different ways.
Our thoughts:
[John] Wow. This was really great. It was disturbing, on many levels; it was emotional, and it was well done. The animation style made me feel like I was inside a storybook and the little boy's breathing kept pulling at my heart.
[Lana] I absolutely loved this! From the moment it started, I knew it was going to be good and I was not disappointed.
26. I Heard It Too (2014) (UK) - 9 minutes, YouTube
John’s description: A little girl has an unnerving experience in the middle of the night.
Our thoughts:
[John] I actually liked this one. I know the little girl is the one holding down the whole film, but she really drew me in. And, yeah, maybe don't count to five - you're just fooling yourself.
[Lana] Is it just me, or does the UK know how to do a short film?
27. The Door (2014) (UK) - 16 minutes, YouTube
John’s description: The sun disappears and dark stuff happens.
Our thoughts:
[John] So, Lana, what were you saying about the UK knowing how to do a good short film? This one may have missed the mark. It held my attention but only because I was curious about the dark stuff happening; the main character was maybe a bit dim.
[Lana] That wasn't what I was expecting. They can't all be winners.
[John] I know. My lines are a bit corny, eh?
[Lana] I love corn.
[John] Mmmm… corn chips.
[Lana] Stop it! You’re making me hungry!
[John] You’re the one who said you love corn.
28. The Visit (2017) (Venezuela) - 11 minutes, YouTube
John’s description: Matthew is expecting his friend, Derek, to arrive. Things don't go quite as planned.
Our thoughts:
[John] Well, um, okay then.
[Lana] People in horror movies are so dumb.
[John] I think we would be equally dumb in a horror movie. I think it’s a thing that happens. I’d probably run up the stairs and hide in a booby-trapped closet. Or, maybe I’d calmly watch TV while weird stuff is happening in my apartment. But, for real, do we have chips?
[Lana] I believe you would do the latter. And no… no chips to be found.
[John] I don’t believe you. You’re just hiding the chips.
29. Latched (2018) (Canada) - 17 minutes, YouTube
John’s description: A dancer/choreographer spends time in the woods with her infant, gaining inspiration for a new number. Woodsy stuff happens.
Our thoughts:
[John] Don't mess with the faerie folk! Or, just feed them breast milk? But the real point is that the baby is bloody adorable. Otherwise, this is messed up. The creepy kind of messed up. Oh, Canada.
[Lana] "That's not a f@$%ing bat!"
30. Lucy's Tale (2019) (U.S.) - 17 minutes, YouTube
John’s description: A teenaged girl is teased and bullied in school. Bullied teen stuff happens.
Our thoughts:
[John] Not the sort of tale I was expecting. I'll leave it at that.
[Lana] Um... wig wag... wig wag... wig wag...
31. Good Samaritan (2019) (U.S., Australia) - 10 minutes, YouTube
John’s description: A man films an assault and does not intervene. Guilty feeling stuff happens.
Our thoughts:
[John] A cast I was not expecting. Guilt can be a bummer.
[Lana] Karma is one nasty lady.
[John] What if Karma is actually a tree?
[Lana] Then its bark would be worse than its bite?
[John] The tree in Poltergeist likely had a worse bite than its bark. Just sayin’.
[Lana] *facepalm*
So… The thing about short films is that they aren’t very long.
[John] What? Are you kidding? That can’t be true.
[Lana] It is the truth…really. We zipped through these things way too quickly. Stubbornly, I didn’t stop here. I decided that I would let out a side of me that John constantly wonders how it could be within me.
[John] I cannot argue that point.
[Lana] I would call it a guilty pleasure but, to be honest, I don’t have much guilt over it. I enjoy bad movies with extreme over-acting and cheesy special F/X. This is where you get the craziest stories and the biggest belly laughs. That being said, and with no further ado, here are the 31 movies that you may (or may not) want to check out.
[John] That is, if you really want to subject yourself to the horror. Just sayin’.
I’m off to try to find chips.
[Lana] Good luck with that.
So-Bad-They’re-Good Movies
1. Dude Bro Party Massacre 3 (2015)
Despite the title, this is the only installment (parts 1 and 2 are storyline only), which is actually a shame. This spoof of the 1980s frat boy and slasher movie was played well for some hokey laughs... if you aren't easily offended. With twin brothers, psychic abilities, ghosts, inept cops, devil worshippers, a killer intent on revenge and loads of beer, this movie has everything for the most finicky connoisseurs of bad horror. While it isn't for the squeamish, the gory parts are cheesy enough to make it almost passable for non-fans of blood and guts. The movie even has Patton Oswalt in a bit-part.
2. Gargoyle Girls (1998)
This movie gave me high hopes for its quality of hilarious badness and I was not disappointed. With an illusionist, who turns out to be a descendant of real magicians, facing off against the titular Gargoyles bent on revenge for 700 years of imprisonment, there was sort of a plot to the movie. The clincher though, was the special F/X. I was literally laughing out loud so much that John looked up from her work, to check on me. This would be a great movie to throw on in the background with friends and family around, during the Hallowe’en season.
3. The Monster of Phantom Lake (2006)
What do you get when evil corporate-types dump atomic waste into a lake? A bad actor covered with leaves and a bucket on his head, of course. Set in the 1950s, the characters really played up the "gee golly" wholesomeness of shows like Leave it to Beaver but in such a laughably hokey way. I can't decide if it takes a good actor to act this badly or if they are just bad actors. This is worth the watch just to see the monster.
4. Nekrotronic (2018)
Who you gonna call? Nobody, because they are phoning you, now that the ghosties and demons have infiltrated the phone lines and can possess you remotely. Luckily, there is a hero to save everyone... if he can work up the willpower to kill his own demonic mother. Yep... it is as bad as it sounds.
5. Candy Corn (2018)
I was a little disappointed in this voodoo-themed slasher, which was just a rip-off of the Michael Myers/Jason Vorhees silent, unstoppable killer ilk. At this stage of the game, "cool kids" should know enough not to pick on the social outcast, especially when he works for a traveling carnival and doubly so around Hallowe’en. This wasn't bad enough to prove laughable nor good enough to enjoy otherwise.
6. Demon Squad (2019)
A down and out, magical detective turns his life around while trying to save the world by preventing the big, bad demon from getting his hands on a powerful artefact. This movie would have been just bad, had it not been for the commitment put into the role by the lead actor. This is still probably one to skip, however.
7. Handy Dandy (2019)
"I'm a 200 year old dark magician with a family of killer puppets." This quote nearly sums up just how ridiculous and awesome this movie is. Add to it that the same person is also a killer kids TV show host, looking for a way to prolong his existence; mix in some cheesy torture elements and you get Handy Dandy.
8. Rawhead Rex (1986)
Little did I know before watching it, this gem is a Clive Barker special. The story actually wasn't completely terrible (what very little there was of it) but I couldn't stop laughing every time Rawhead appeared on the screen. Let's just say that prostheses and CGI have, thankfully, come a long way.
9. Trail of the Screaming Forehead (2007)
First, I must say, this was hilarious. My question is this... if you are trying to act badly on purpose, does that make you a good actor? Or, have you just been typecast as a bad actor and perform poorly, as usual, but the filmmakers use it to their advantage? Whatever the answer, the result was too comical not to enjoy. BEWARE THE BUBBLEHEADS!
10. Bubba Ho-Tep (2002)
I must say that this is my ideal movie, when I think of a so-bad-it's-good concept. When a soul-sucking mummy goes to a home for the elderly, two residents refuse to take it lying down. Bruce Campbell plays Elvis and Ossie Davis is JFK. Even if the rest of the world thinks it, they ain't dead yet.
11. Rocktober Blood (1984)
The lead singer of a band is executed after he is found guilty of killing over 20 fans, friends, and crew. After some time off, he begins performing his show, once again. He comes back from the great beyond to kill again... or does he?
12a. Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead (2006)
What better movie for (Canadian) Thanksgiving, than this? Anything. This was repulsively offensive and I just couldn't watch it. I shut it off after five minutes. Disappointing because I was so looking forward to this one.
12b. Ouija Shark (2020)
From story (if that is what you want to call it) to corny stereotypes, to terrible special F/X, this movie was ridiculous from start to finish in all the best ways. Even the closing credits song held the appropriate amount of cheese. The best part is the sound of the ghostly shark biting its victims... I cracked up every time.
13. Voodoo Moon (2005)
This is a typical demon-hunter/exorcist-learns-every-religion-(including voodoo)-and-gathers-all-his-friends-to-take-on-the-demon-he-has-fought-for-years-who-only-seems-to-want-the-exorcist's-psychic-sister-during-the-harvest-moon-for-some-reason, story. You know... that old trope.
14. Lavalantula (2014)
From the makers of the Sharknado franchise comes this wondrous tale of giant lava-spewing spiders. This intentionally bad flick stars Steve Guttenberg, Michael Winslow (making their roles in Police Academy seem Oscar-worthy, by comparison), and Nia Peeples. It makes me want to rush out to see the sequel, 2Lava2Lantula... or maybe not.
15. Sasq-Watch (2016)
While not necessarily Hallowe’en-specific, this is a hunt for bigfoot that couldn't have gone worse for those hunting it. Of course, it might help if they knew anything about the outdoors. Tim Meadows, in a small role as the rival hunter, is the big draw.
16. Bad Exorcists (2015)
Remember The Exorcist? Do you remember how scary it was in the ultimate battle for Regan's everlasting soul? Yeah... this is not that movie. It does, however, have its good points if you keep your expectations to a minimum.
17. Vampires Suck (2010)
This is a really cheesy spoof of the Twilight movie series. Between the ridiculous and over-exaggerated performances and crappy dialogue, I thought I was watching the source material all over again.
18. Zombie Werewolves Attack (2009)
It almost looked like this film was made by a bunch of college students. The low budget was a little evident, especially in the Hallowe’en masks used for the werewolves. I found it quite funny... after the first uneventful 20 minutes, or so, was over.
19. Demon Haunt (2009)
I know I have commented on special F/X looking suspect in the past but this movie takes the cake. Computer graphics were used for everything from the demons to a car accident. I'm talking graphics that would have been bad in the 1980s and if I'm honest, they really made this movie for me to enjoy just how bad it is.
20. Hell Baby (2013)
Pregnancy can be tough at the best of times (or so I’m told… I haven’t experienced it, myself, personally) but when you are carrying Hell spawn, it can be outright torturous for everyone. This movie is more mainstream than many of the others and the quality definitely shows.
21. Bubba the Redneck Werewolf (2013)
When you are bullied all the time and can't get the girl of your dreams, what can you possibly do? Why, you sell your soul to the devil and become a werewolf, of course. When other townsfolk start selling their souls as well, you obviously have to do the right thing and stand up to the devil and save everyone.
22. Ouija Séance: The Final Game (2018)
I thought this would be better, to be honest with you. It took too long for the action to start and when it did, it was neither too bad to be good nor bad enough to be good. I was also disappointed in the lack of screen time of the talking board, for a movie entitled Ouija Séance.
23. Shock 'Em Dead (1991)
When a really bad guitarist decides to change his fortunes, he makes a deal with a voodoo priestess to become the greatest rock star ever. Little did he know that he would have to drain the life essence out of others, to stay alive. Cheesy fun.
24. Leprechaun: Origins (2014)
When I first saw this movie title, I was quite excited. I have seen the entire Leprechaun series and knew it was cheesy badness. To my dismay, I discovered this is not the Warwick Davis vehicle I was used to but something put out by WWE Studios. It was still good (in a bad way) but it wasn't the same. It left me longing for the wise-cracking character I am used to seeing.
25. Notzilla (2020)
An intentional spoof of Godzilla (and the rest of the Japanese "kaiju" flicks) that pays off with horribly bad jokes and premise. This was actually better than it had any right to be but, I left it on the list for the sake of sequel potential. If they make any more of these movies, I can almost guarantee they will be awfully delightful.
26. Zombeavers (2014)
Toxic waste turns beavers into unkillable monsters that attack your typical group of horny college kids. As if the animatronic/puppetry beavers weren't amazing enough, once bitten, people turned into beaver/human hybrids. Pay special attention to the end-credit song and post-credit scene... extremely amusing.
27. Wishmaster 3: Beyond the Gates of Hell (2001)
I am a huge fan of the Wishmaster movie series. Unfortunately, this third installment no longer has the same actor playing the djinn, and it shows. It still has some hilarious moments but it certainly doesn't compare to the first two movies.
28. Killer Sofa (2019)
I had been looking forward to this one. With a title like Killer Sofa, how can it not be a classic... and, other than it being a recliner and not actually a sofa, the movie didn't disappoint. How many ways do you think a chair can kill people? Watch this movie to find out.
29. Demon Hunter (2005)
This is a case of fighting fire with fire, as a half-demon exorcist fail-safe and his new half-demon nun partner battle a full-fledged demon and his minions. Sean Patrick Flanery... why?
30. Subferatu (2020)
Vampires on a submarine... it is pretty much how you would expect it to go but with worse acting.
31. Velocipastor (2017)
Similar to a werewolf but instead of a wolf, the holy man turns into a dinosaur. So, he does the only thing that makes sense… he becomes a vigilante/superhero. This is absolutely fantastic in its absurdity.
[John] That all sounds exhausting and from the bits I overheard while he was watching them, I am quite happy for these additions to be Lana’s special solo project.
[Lana] Admit it, you actually regret the decision to not join me for the fun and are, in truth, quite jealous.
[John] Whatever you need to tell yourself.
By the way, I never did find chips.
[Lana] Told ya. *chomp chomp*
[John] Dude.
Thank you again, Jenna Khalikis, for the fantastic suggestion of doing the short films this year. It really did make things easier for me to manage and was really enjoyable.
[Lana] We want to thank you all for joining us for another Octoberwe’en movie marathon. Hopefully you had a great and safe Hallowe’en and will find a few movies from our list that you can enjoy… or, at least, laugh at.
[John] Happy planning for next year! Or, happy continuation for those feeling the Hallowe’en vibe all year long!
Be safe and take good care, friends.
