Get Outta Your Head, with Sally Goncalves - Part 2

MARCH 31st, 2016

By JOHN LILIES

Thanks for tuning in for Part Two of our interview with Sally Goncalves of Outta.

In Part One, Sally graciously shared with us her experience growing up and how she has learned to cope with depression and anxiety. We also learned about how important it is to Sally to speak openly about emotions and mental health challenges; and what Outta is all about. If you haven’t read Part One yet, you can click here to start.

In this final part of our interview with Sally, we learn more about her vision for Outta and her desire for us, as a society, to be able to speak of mental illness like we speak of the common cold or other health challenges, with no stigma. We’re excited to bring you the last part of our chat.

So put on your comfy clothes, get yourself a soothing drink, settle into your favourite cozy spot, and join us now for part two.

[John] You’ve talked about supporting mental health initiatives; what type of mental health initiatives are you really focused on?

[Sally] I really want to focus on youth. I would really like to begin in schools and bring mindfulness programs into schools. I know that there are schools that already have this implemented, so it’s a lot of contacting and reaching out. Starting with even just one class, to kind of show these kids that self-care is important at any age. There are a lot of kids suffering from – sorry, I don’t like to use the word ‘suffering’ – experiencing anxiety at a younger and younger age. They don’t know what to do with that. It’s a scary feeling and I know from myself, when I was a kid, if somebody sat me down and said ‘I’m gonna teach you how to focus on your breath’, oh my gosh! When my parents were fighting I could have gone to my room to focus on my breath and calmed myself down; and instead I would just daydream and kind of watch TV. I don’t know what I did but I know it wasn’t healthy; I just tried to escape what was going on. Kids are so easily influenced that I think if we can teach them certain techniques that make sense to them, who knows – that might stick with them and help them later on when they’re in high school or university and they become young adults. I just feel like you learn how to survive as a kid and if you’re not aware enough, you use those same survival techniques as an adult and they don’t work anymore as an adult; because you’re not in that environment anymore, but it’s almost like you don’t know any other way to be. So if you don’t have those coping skills as a kid, how are going to know how to do that as an adult? So, that’s kind of my main focus and that’s really what I want to try to implement, but I’m not limited to that. Mental Health Week is coming up in May, so whatever programs are going on there we will look into that and see how we can help. There are great organizations like New Leaf Yoga in Toronto, and they teach yoga and meditation to at-risk youth in more under-privileged areas. So it’s a lot of independent, smaller charities that need help and I kind of want to focus more on that.

[John] I think it’s so great that the youth demographic is a huge part of your focus, if not the focus, because it’s the missing link.

[Sally] Yes.

[John] We have barely, not even close to enough programming for adults. We have next to no programming for children and not even just kids under 16; at 18 you start being able to access the adult programming and you’re barely an adult at that. So we really need more support and awareness and focus on that youth demographic. I am so happy that you are looking there; and not that it isn’t important to also look at the adult demographic but we need to foster our kids and help them to understand how they can help themselves.

[Sally] Exactly! Yeah, that’s the most important thing is knowing that you have the strength – the inner strength – to handle life and life’s stresses. There is always going to be stress, we can’t avoid it. If you have some sort of technique, skill, and then the confidence, I think then we will have better functioning adults. I’m not very good with statistics but speaking from my friends who work in more of a corporate world, there are so many adults that take off time from work because they’re depressed or super anxious. Again, mental health is a huge spectrum so I’m not speaking on behalf of people that have Bipolar or Schizophrenia or something like that because that’s a completely different side of mental health. I don’t have enough knowledge to talk about that and those are more permanent illnesses. But people who get depressed because they are just overwhelmed, and that’s how their bodies react to it, that’s how their minds react to it, or kids that get depressed because they’re overwhelmed. There are so many different anxieties now - like generalized, social anxiety - you know, there are all these anxieties that I think a lot of them do stem from environmental situations, stress, that people just don’t know how to cope. They just don’t know what to do with decisions, workload and home life, school and all of that. Then you shut down because you just don’t know what else to do.

[John] We’re rarely given the tools that we need to cope and to find our way through life.

[Sally] Yeah, so I think with kids, if they’re not learning it at home – and I mean, I ask my kids all the time to meditate and they rarely do because I’m their mom and I’m also telling them brush their teeth and make their bed. However, in school if their teacher said ‘oh we’re going to take this class’, then they would do it. You can try to do it at home but I know I don’t have any success half the time. However, this morning we all did meditate. The cat was in the bed, and the four of us [people] were in the bed and the kids went for it this morning; and we all meditated for 15 minutes. It was really nice.

[John] Such a special experience.

[Sally] Yes, but I don’t know when that’s going to happen again; but I think that it’s enough that the kids see us doing it. Actions speak louder than words. We’re setting the example and I’m not saying I’m some sort of Zen Master – I might meditate for 15 minutes and then I’ll be yelling at my kids again 15 minutes later. I didn’t say it was sustainable [Sally laughed a lot here]. I think the only time it’s really sustainable is if you live up in the Himalayan Mountains somewhere and you’re secluded and isolated and you don’t have any sort of triggers. That’s not really what it’s about; I just know that I don’t get to that point where I can’t handle my kids fighting (they’ll probably disagree with me on that) and I know I’d be a lot worse if I didn’t do that – if I didn’t meditate and do yoga.

[John] So, having those tools that you’ve learned and having that awareness of your self and what you need to do to maintain your own healthy mental state and emotional state; I’m assuming it has really lent itself in a very positive way to you being able to manage a business on your own and the stress that goes with that. You are much more aware of your own mental health than many people are, or at least are willing to admit to themselves because it’s a tough thing to admit to. You have these really cool tools that you’ve learned and have taught yourself over the years of how to manage your own anxiety, stress and depression. Are you finding that that’s helping you, because it’s got to be very stressful to take on your own business and do it fundamentally by yourself.

[Sally] Yeah, I think that it has. I’ve actually been practicing more; meditating more and doing more yoga, going for walks and just making sure that I do take care of myself because I am very busy now. I know that if I don’t do that then I’m not going to be able to handle all of these new things that I’m learning. I’m learning a lot too, because like said, just social media alone is a full-time job. It’s a lot of work and I’m not tech-savvy at all, so just that alone takes up a lot of time. I’m making the stuff too; I heat-press the shirts myself, I make the hair ties myself, I mail everything – I do all of it on my own. However, I don’t find it work – I actually really like it. It’s a lot of fun. The hardest part for me right now is the writing, the posting – that kind of stuff. I’ve got to get into a routine with that. But again, like I said, my husband is very calming and he reminds me that this is all part of the adventure and things are going to go wrong and that it’s always slow in the beginning, so he brings me back down to earth because I’m often up in my head.

[John] You’ve talked about posts and maintaining the website, and you have a blog on your website. Why is that important to you?

[Sally] [Long, thoughtful sigh] Well, it’s an open book. I really wanted it to be for anybody, to post anything about their own experiences, or information on mental health and self-care. I wasn’t really expecting to do much writing, to be honest with you. At the same time, I have to be open about my own experience if I want people to open up about theirs. So I will be posting stories about my own issues that I’ve had or still do have. I just want to keep it open for anyone that maybe has a story to tell and they just feel like they have to tell it. With my business, I want it to be built around vulnerability and transparency, so I’m very open about my own experiences with it. It’s not always easy to talk about, I’m not going to say it’s easy to talk about, but I hope that we do get to that point where it is easy to talk about.

You know, I’m hoping that some day we’ll just talk about mental health like we do any other health issue. If you were to break your arm, I would say ‘John, what happened to your arm?’ Then you’d say ‘oh I broke it! I was skiing and I fell and it was really painful, and I had to go to Emerg and they gave me these pain pills. Now I’m healing and it might take four to six weeks’ and I’d be like ‘oh my God! That’s crazy!’ and we’d talk about it, and you’d have a story, and I wouldn’t judge you. I wouldn’t think that you are the broken arm and pass judgment on you. I’d think ‘that’s a crazy story’ and we would connect through that because you’re sharing your experience with it. So, I hope that we get to a point where we do the same with ‘what’s wrong with you John?’ and you say ‘oh I’m depressed’, and I’d say ‘why? Tell me about it, what’s going on?’ and you’d tell me; you’d say you’re in pain and you’re seeking help, and you’re doing this for it and that for it. Maybe you took up yoga, you’re going to a therapist, or whatever it is that you need to do and you say, ‘I’m healing but I don’t know how long it’s going to take’, and I’d say ‘okay, let’s go for a coffee’. You know what I mean? I hope we get to that point where it’s just the same as anything else. It’s not even the mental illness that there’s a stigma around [now], it’s the discussion that there’s a stigma around.

[John] Why do think that is?

[Sally] I think because somewhere along the line, we got so identified with the illness that we attached ourselves to this ‘mental’ illness, you know? I mean, the mind is such a mystery and it affects everything, so when you’re having some sort of mental health issue it really affects your whole being. That’s what it feels like, anyway, and I don’t think we know how to separate it like we do everything else. Your liver is damaged – well that’s your liver, it needs some TLC, it needs some medication. But with our heads – with our minds - we don’t do that. It’s like all of me has this and it becomes you, which is really silly! Because, imagine if you did that with anything else, it would just be silly. Then you would judge that person. You would, I guess, judge that person in the same way that there’s been judgment with mental illness. So, I think it’s hard to separate it but I think we have to start looking at it like it’s a separate issue so we can move forward, so we can get the help that we need just like you would with anything else. You would not go home and suffer in pain if you broke your arm. You just wouldn’t do that. You would go seek help, right? Because, you know that it would cause other problems. Why is it, if you’re depressed, you go home and you suffer in silence?

[John] Do you think that it has something to do with the intimacy that’s involved in that? In the sense that it is your mental health, it is your emotional state; it is affecting every other aspect of your life. So it is such a personal thing. Do you think that has an effect? Or is it because people equate it to the way that we loosely use terms like ‘crazy’ or ‘nuts’ (and there are more derogatory terms)?

[Sally] Yeah. I think that it’s definitely a combination of both, for sure. Again, there’s a huge spectrum. We have to remember that and it’s just not all the same. We have to change just that little part of how we talk about it and how we support one another through it. It’s almost like, and I don’t know if this is going to sound insensitive, but it’s almost like ‘don’t make it such a big deal’. Do you know what I mean? If you came to me and said ‘I went to the doctor’s and they told me I have Diabetes’, that would be awful; but we wouldn’t make it such a big deal that now I’m judging you because you have Diabetes. Or I’m thinking maybe, ‘well you shouldn’t have Diabetes’. You know what I mean? It’s like, if somebody’s depressed it’s not like they’re really sad. There’s a big difference. So I think that the way that it’s looked upon is not helpful to the person that’s going through it. So, if somebody says ‘I’m depressed’ you’d be like ‘okay, let’s talk about it’ but leave the big deal part of it at home. Don’t make the person feel like there’s no hope for them, or on the other side of that, make them feel like they should snap out of it.

[John] Diminishing the whole thing.

[Sally] Right, so it’s kind of contradictory I guess, in a way.

[John] I think I understand what you’re saying; that it needs to be a more natural conversation and not so dramatic. Even though it may feel dramatic and the events that surround it could be dramatic, the topic shouldn’t necessarily be dramatic.

[Sally] Right, the topic shouldn’t necessarily be dramatic. Somebody saying that they have depression, I think, should be looked at as somebody saying ‘I have…’ whatever it is… pick your medical issue. If you said you had cancer, that would be horrific but we wouldn’t really be focusing on the cancer. We would be focusing on what we need to do to help you with the cancer. Right? So, the same thing with mental illness;  ‘you have this, okay, so what do we need to do now to help you?’ Let’s not focus so much on the illness part of it.

[John] The diagnosis part of it.

[Sally] Yeah! Again, you’re not the cancer. You have the cancer. You’re not the depression. You have the depression. So let’s move forward and get whatever help you need to get. But, the other thing with mental illness is there aren’t tests that you take for it. You can’t go for a test. The doctor or the therapist pretty much tells you, ‘okay this is what you have’ by your symptoms, by what you’re feeling. But, with anything else, you go for blood work, you go for CT scans, you go for x-rays, so they know exactly what it is. So I think that probably plays a part in it too. I think it’s a combination of a lot of things, but the reality is that people do have it and it’s, unfortunately, on the rise. We can’t ignore it and I can only speak from my personal experience with it; I always say I would take grief over depression any day. That’s how bad it is. I would rather take grief – and grief is pretty bad.

[John] And you know grief well.

[Sally] And I know grief well. I would take grief – that feeling of grief – over depression any day. Grief I can handle. Depression… [not so much]. I handle it better now, but it’s really just a dark, dark place to be in.

[John] So, mentioning that you know grief well, you’ve experienced some significant losses and quite recently at that.

[Sally] Mhm.

[John] Do you think that one of the reasons that you can say you would take grief over depression is because you know where the grief is coming from? You know what’s causing it whereas, with depression, we don’t necessarily know the root cause. It’s just there and you don’t know when you’re going to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Whereas, at least with the grief, you can hope that as the days go by you’ll be able to manage it a little bit better. It never goes away, but you can understand it a little better.

[Sally] Yeah, for sure. I think that, usually, there’s a reason for grief – it’s not a good reason, but depression can sometimes come out of nowhere for a lot of people. That you’re kind of like ‘what’s going on? I was fine and now I have this feeling of gloom that just won’t leave’. Grief can feel similar. It can. A lot of people grieving do get depressed, because it’s heavy. I can see how you would get there. But I, luckily, did not become depressed after my dad and brother passed away [a few months apart]. I did have moments where I felt like I was kind of going down that road but, again, I had my tools. I reached out. I didn’t wait. I emailed all my friends and I said ‘look, I’m having a hard time. I’m feeling like I might be heading down that dark road and I just need you guys to check in on me’. You know, I reached out and that’s what I did when I was depressed the last time.

I had three things that I did: I created my own support group, I started yoga and I meditated like crazy; and those are the three things I do now when I’m feeling like ‘meh, I’m not doing so well’. I reach out right away to my friends because I have an amazing group of friends; I’m very, very blessed. And, I increase my yoga and meditation. I connect inside. That, I think, helped me not to fall back into a depressed state. I didn’t do that in the beginning when I was depressed; I was isolating myself, which I know makes it worse and that’s why I don’t want people to do that because you’re just digging a deeper hole for yourself. If you don’t have a support group, there are support groups – there are people out there, especially now online – there are so many support groups online. Just don’t try to go through it on your own because you’re ashamed or embarrassed or whatever. I just tell it like it is and for me, it helps. I don’t have a problem now saying that I’m not doing well and I need help, I need to go for a walk, or ‘somebody ask me to go for a walk or take me out for coffee, or let’s just meet up or have a phone call’, or whatever. Just debrief. That connection - you need that connection with people.

[John] Which is tough to do, because often when you’re feeling that way you want to retreat.

[Sally] You do want to retreat.

[John] Your natural inclination is to hide away…

[Sally] Yeah.

[John]… and I think it takes a lot of courage and a lot of awareness – a lot of self-awareness – and a lot of strength, to not only recognize that you’re hitting that point but to recognize that you need to reach out. And then, to take the step to actually reach out, which is probably the hardest part of it all. You can tell yourself ‘ yeah okay, I probably really should go out and see some friends or have some human contact, or be forced to talk to people and put myself in some uncomfortable situations’, because they’re not comfortable when you’re feeling that way. But then to actually go ahead and do it… usually we say ‘okay, yeah I need to do that and [instead] I’m just going to crawl into bed’, right? Or, ‘I’m going to go and sit in the corner and cry for a few hours’.

[Sally] Which sometimes you need to do, too; but I think that if you have enough self-awareness, you know when you’re crawling into bed and you’re okay, like ‘yeah I just need to be by myself but I’m okay’. Or when you’re doing that and you’re not okay. So, I know the difference now. I do that. Sometimes I’m like ‘I’m putting myself to bed. I need to be alone’ but it’s good. I just need to retreat in a healthy way, not in an unhealthy way. So I know the difference now.

[John] That’s so important.

[Sally] It is really important. That can be helpful, too. We all need to do that as well, but you need to know what state you’re in. So I know now when I’m getting to that point that I’m feeling so overwhelmed. I haven’t felt like that since my brother and dad passed away but at that time, there were days when I needed to be surrounded by people who cared for me and helped me and encouraged me and let me talk; just let me grieve, just let me sob. I’m lucky I have that. It’s important. It’s not a big group of people; I can count them on one hand, but it’s an important group. So that’s part of self-care; reaching out - that’s taking care of yourself because sometimes you can’t take care of yourself and you need others to do that for you. But if they don’t know, then how are they going to be able to help you? If you don’t have it in your circle of people in your life, you can find it now; there are a lot of groups and online groups, it’s just finding them.

[John] You have to take that first step to start building it.

[Sally] Yeah, exactly.

[John] So what else should people know about Outta? Is there anything that we haven’t covered that you want to share?

[Sally] I think that Outta is my personal story. It’s my personal journey but I feel like it is [that] for many people too. I feel like people who have had mental health issues want to speak up, they want to share their stories or they just want to speak up about how important it is and I don’t feel like it’s just my thing. I really feel that it’s going to become a community and I want it to be a community. I want it to be open. I want it to be for anyone and everyone who understands that message on a deeper level. On our home page, it says “Get Outta Your Head and Into Your Heart” and that just means that it’s so important to connect to that inner self that is always there, and that gets neglected. The only way to get there is to move from your head space, and however you get there is different for everyone. I’m not saying the only way to get there is through meditating or doing yoga or anything active; it’s whatever gets you there and so share that! Share that with others, because then we can bring more awareness and we can help youth and adults and whoever has gone through a difficult time, or is going through a difficult time, and create some sort of change. Really, that’s what it’s all about, I think.

[John] Alright, so where can people find Outta?

[Sally began laughing again here, as she emphasized once more, her lack of tech & social media knowledge… it really is quite endearing when you realize how much she’s taught herself in such a short time.]

Online, at getouttayourhead.com. The company is called Outta, the website is called getouttayourhead.com - that’s our main message, is to get outta your head. So you can go there, you can purchase a tank, purchase hair ties; t-shirts are coming. When you do that, you’ll be supporting mental health initiatives. So, in the future when we do build up enough proceeds - and it’s all going to be documented because I don’t want you to feel like you don’t know where your money is going - so everything that we do will be documented and it is going to be put on our website. So if that month we’ve chosen to go into a school, then there will be pictures. Hopefully there will be some interviews – questions that we will ask students – and it will all be posted there; and you’ll know that if you purchase something that month, that your money went to that initiative or charity or whatever. It’s going to be posted month-by-month because I know for me, when I donate, I want to know – really – where is it going? It creates an interaction between the customer and the company, too. So that will all be on the website as well and I think that will be informative. Again, it’s bringing awareness and kind of showing what our communities are doing and I think it’s a fun way to engage. It’s all about engagement.

Also on the website, like we talked about, there’s a blog and I welcome anyone to submit anything that they want to submit, whether it’s their personal story or some new statistic, or some new program that’s going on, whatever. I want people to have their own voice but in an appropriate manner. If it’s anything that’s more research-type then of course it must be accurate, especially with mental health that’s important. Personal stories though, I mean it’s your own story and if you want to share it that’s what it’s all about. It’s about connecting and we can only connect on that deeper level if we’re truthful and honest and authentic. Sometimes it’s really hard to be that way, it is for me still. You know, before I launched my site I had lots of people telling me ‘oh my God I had no idea that you had to go through that!’ because I didn’t talk about it for a really long time, and I’m still learning to get comfortable talking about it but that comes with time.

[John] You’ve encouraged me too, because I wrote that guest blog article for you and that was probably the hardest thing that I’ve ever had to write.

[Sally] Really?!?

[John] I know I’m going to be writing more for you and I almost have to talk myself into it because I’ve realized that I kind of mention in passing once in a while, that I have anxiety or that I’ve got some mild PTSD and that I experience it. But to have to sit down and actually write about it, and be really open and honest about it, is a scary and difficult thing to do. So I understand that, because it is tough to be authentic. I don’t know that we really can be authentic 100% of the time but just starting is really important.

[Sally] How did you feel after you wrote it?

[John] Awesome. I felt relieved and freer. It started a different journey for me. So thank you for that.

[Sally] Oh you’re welcome! I had no idea!

[John] So you have your website, you have a Facebook page and you’re on Twitter.

[Sally] Oh yes! Our Facebook page! Please come to our Facebook page! I’m going to be totally honest here okay… [Deep sigh] I would boycott social media if I could. I really would. It is not my thing. But because I have an online store, I have to be on the social media platforms. So, please help me and follow us on all these things! [Laughing] Follow us, like us, share us, whatever you’re supposed to do on it; because to gain a following is really hard. I’m new! No one knows who I am and I have no problem asking people. I’ll go up to people I’ve just met and ask if they’re on Instagram and if they can follow me. [Laughing… a lot]

[John] I have three last questions for you.

[Sally] Okay.

[John] These are what Lana calls the tough questions.

[Sally] Oh no. This is already tough! [Laughing]

[John] What inspires you?

[Sally] Oh man. [Sally took a long, thoughtful pause here…] People that are authentic inspire me. You know, I listen to a lot of podcasts and I’m attracted to people who are just raw and real and tell it like it is. That inspires me to be me, in my own way; a you-can-take-it-or-leave-it kind of approach. Those people inspire me. That’s really why I’ve started this, is being inspired by those kind of ‘real deal’ people.

[John] What is your intention in this life?

[Sally] [Another long, thoughtful pause…] Hmmm… It’s to do good. It’s to be a benefit. I’ve always known that I wanted to do something that was meaningful and that kind of penetrates life at a deeper level. I don’t want to live a surface-y, shallow life. It’s to create meaning.

[John] What do you want people to know - to really know - about Sally Goncalves?

[Sally] That I am just as scared as anybody else about starting anything new. That I am just as emotional and as uncertain; I’m full of all those things. Just because I’ve started something doesn’t mean I don’t have that; I do, but I’m not going to let it stop me anymore. In the past I have. In the past I talked myself out of doing things that deep down I knew I really wanted to do. I don’t know why. It’s just a nudge but it’s a nudge that hasn’t left me, so it’s now or never. I’m going to be 40 [soon], so I’m moving forward with kind of a new outlook. I’m going to go for it and whatever happens, happens. At least that way, I won’t regret not doing it. With that being said, I still feel all those feelings of fear. It’s all there. It’s all there, but I just let them hang out and I don’t let them take over anymore. So, that’s kind of my progress from where I’ve been to where I am now. It’s not that that goes away completely. It’s there but I’ve learned to just let it be and not let it bully me anymore.

[John] Well I have to say that you have, over the years, inspired me a lot in ways that I’ve never shared because I just stay quiet.

[Sally] Oh!

[John] We have been friends for about 15 years now and over these years you’ve actually taught me a lot. You’ve taught me a lot about myself and you’ve helped me, you’ve encouraged me, without intending to but just in you leading by example and being who you are as authentically as you are. You have inspired me and encouraged me to be strong in myself and so this has actually been a really cool experience for me, to be able to do this, so thank you for that. You’re awesome.

[Sally] Aw so are you. This was fun!

END PART 2

Well dear friends, that concludes my conversation with Sally Goncalves.

This has been such an enlightening experience for me. I feel like I receive more and more life learning with each interview we do and this one definitely deepened that awareness for me. I hope that you have all gained from this experience as much as I have. Lana insisted he not read the interview in advance and has gone on this ride along with all of you. He wanted to take it in just like everyone else would, so it’s been a new experience for him too. It has been a change from our typical form, however I know its importance and we are passionate about the topic.

Thank you so much, to all of you who have commented and contacted us, expressing gratitude for bringing this topic to the table. We appreciate your words and support very much. We are incredibly fortunate to have this Carbon Lilies world and the friends who come along with it.

Keep the conversation going and don’t be afraid of the discussion… Get Outta Your Head and Into Your Heart. 

If you would like to have a look at Outta or contact Sally, please visit:

getouttayourhead.com

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Get Outta Your Head, with Sally Goncalves - Part 1

MARCH 29th, 2016

By JOHN LILIES

We have recently shared with you, our readers and followers, that Lana and I are huge supporters of mental health initiatives. Throughout our lives, various forms of mental illness have touched us both with friends and family, and we have each experienced our own struggles along the way.

While developing Carbon Lilies, we decided that we want our work to include our support for mental health awareness, research, and initiatives. If you have read a handful of our articles, you know that while we do cover a lot of the paranerdal experience, we have many different topics to share with you. We know that a great many people have dealt with or are currently navigating issues related to mental health and mental illness, either privately or publicly, personally or via friends, family and co-workers.

Carbon Lilies is about our trips through time – museums, haunts, galleries and life. Life stories are important to us; so important that we want to share different life accounts among the various articles we post. Last year, we began interviewing different people so that we could share some of these tales with all of you. Thus far, we have focused mostly on topics related to the paranormal but within those interviews, we have also tried to present the person. We want to bring you more interviews with more people sharing their life experiences: plans, fears, memories, failures, celebrations, and successes.

We have, so far, brought to you interviews with Andrea Bailey of Unearthing Shadows, Patrick Keller of The Big Séance Podcast, Chris Medina of Platinum Predictions, and today we are introducing you to Sally Goncalves of Outta.

Sally has been an incredibly close friend of mine since 2001. We have gone through a lot together and supported each other during some of the darkest times. Sally’s life experience has successfully brought her to realize a huge dream of owning and operating an apparel and accessory line, called Outta. The focus of Outta is to spread the important message “get outta your head and into your heart”.

So with that lengthy introduction complete, get into your comfy clothes, grab yourself a drink, settle into your favourite cozy spot, and join us for part one of our interview with Sally Goncalves.

[John] Thank you for doing this. I really appreciate it. Even before you started this initiative, I had actually been thinking that I would like to interview you because of everything that you’ve gone through; it builds a beautiful person and so it was important to me already. [Outta] made it even more of an opportunity, because while you’re building this brand new adventure of your own, we get to let people know about you and your stories. I think that you have so many important aspects going on with this.

[Sally] Okay, so no pressure.

[John] No pressure! I’m going to just start at the beginning… Who are you?

[Sally] Okay. Oh. [Sally had a lot of nervous laughter here] I don’t know. I guess I’m still trying to figure it out. [Laughing] Who am I? Um… Oh gosh where do you begin?

[John’s note: Sally laughed a fair bit while she was trying to sort out who she is, on the spot. As she started to tell her story, she quickly calmed, centred herself and settled into a story that told me so much more than I had ever known about her life. It’s amazing what you learn about the people closest to you, when you ask a different question…]

[Sally] I was born in Canada to two Portuguese immigrants and they were very poorly educated. My mom is illiterate; she never went to school. My dad, he went to school in Portugal but he was very limited in his education. So, my mom stayed at home. I have three older brothers and my dad worked a lot to provide for us; and my mom has mental illness. [Deep, thoughtful sigh…] I don’t know really what she has. I know, growing up, she had bouts of depression. I remember her being in bed for what seemed like days – that’s from a child’s perspective. I remember going to visit her in the Psych Ward of the hospital, when I was a kid. I don’t know why she was there but I remember going to visit her in there. She doesn’t get depressed anymore but she talks to herself, she’s very emotional – she can’t control her emotions. She has calmed down, for sure, since I was a kid but growing up in that environment, it affected me. My dad self-medicated – he was an alcoholic.

Looking back, I felt like I was susceptible myself. I was afraid of everything and I was probably depressed too, but I didn’t really know until my late teens, early twenties that something was off. So, I kind of grew up in a really tense, unpredictable, scary home. My brothers, who are much older than me – there are 22 years of difference between me and my oldest brother – thankfully for them, they were kind of my escape. They would save me from a lot of those times when my mom was having some sort of episode. My parents fought on a daily basis – I mean physically fighting. The cops would come to our house and that was kind of a daily thing for me. Looking back, I wonder how I didn’t get taken away from them.

As I became a young adult, I didn’t really handle stress very well. I would become depressed – where I couldn’t function. I would be like my mom, laying in bed hopeless, kind of dreading life. That came and went, until a few years ago. So, I’ve had to find a way to navigate through depression.

I wouldn’t say that I’m a depressed, anxious person – I don’t like to use those terms. I’ve also found that with mental illness, we attach our identity to it too much. People say ‘I am depressed’ and I’d rather we say ‘I have depression’. You don’t really say that with anything else.

[John] Why do you find that different?

[Sally] Because you’re not your depression, you’re not your cancer, you’re not your diabetes, you’re not your broken leg, you’re not your cold. You say you have a cold, or ‘I have cancer’, and I don’t know how it happened with mental illness but people are identified with that issue. I think that’s a big problem. That needs to shift. The perspective on how we even word it and how we describe it, I think it would make a huge difference because it is a mental issue. It affects you physically, it affects you emotionally and it affects you mentally. That [wording] plays on the intensity of it; it’s doesn’t help. It doesn’t help the situation, so whenever I’m having anxiety I say ‘I’m feeling anxious’, you know; it’s a sensation, I’m feeling it, it’s not me. It’s there and eventually it’s going to pass just like when you have a cold. When you have a cold, you don’t know when it’s going to pass; it could be two days, it could be two weeks, you don’t know, but you know eventually it’s going pass. You don’t worry about it. You don’t feel good, you’re not yourself but you know that eventually you’re not going to have that cold anymore. So, I think that we need to start looking at certain mental health issues – I’m not saying all, because there is a big spectrum – but certainly ones that are more situational or stress-related, so we don’t make it worse. I’ve kind of taught myself to look at it that way and I find it really helps me.

[John] That’s such a great perspective.

[Sally] It’s not easy. I’m not saying ‘oh well I do this and it goes away’. It doesn’t go away. It’s still there but I don’t make it worse than it already is.

So yeah, I think that if we just change that – that little, tiny shift of looking at it and labeling it differently – I think that makes a big difference. That’s just from my own personal experience from what I’ve noticed when I was in those dark places. I really identified with it and it’s hard not to because you do feel like you’ve been taken over. It does feel like it’s swallowed you up and you do feel like you’re never going to feel like yourself again, when you’re in it. You do, eventually [feel like yourself again]. I mean it’s different for everybody, it’s a different time for everybody but that’s where the hope comes in.

[John] Do you feel like that [experience growing up] has shaped the decisions you’ve made about your life, in terms of what to do with your life?

[Sally] Absolutely. I feel that the times where I did become really depressed were the times that I was supposed to make a major decision and I didn’t know how, without letting somebody down. I just didn’t have the confidence, I didn’t have the self-esteem; and I didn’t know that at the time but now looking back, I think it’s interesting that when I became depressed it was always with this major decision. I just didn’t have the coping skills to handle the change, because I was really afraid when I was a kid. I was afraid to do anything. So that definitely shaped me because as a young adult, I had these opportunities to do great things like travel and move out with girlfriends, and I didn’t do it because I was afraid. My mom always said things like ‘No, you can’t do that. This is going to happen to you’ or ‘What if this happens to you?’ and it was just so fear-based and I really was affected by that.

The good thing is that I am not like that with my kids. I am completely opposite to that, where I tell them ‘You guys have got to go’ [laughing], ‘You’ve got to go see the world’; and give them the confidence to know that they can, and I know this sounds cheesy, but they can do whatever it is they want to do if they work hard enough. Just try to build that confidence in them so when they get to that point in their lives, they’ll be confident in their decisions; and whatever may come, they’ll be able to handle it - and if they don’t handle it, that’s okay. They’ll know how to handle the not handling it, where they’re not consumed by anxiety or stress or uncertainty.

[John] Are you open with them when you’re experiencing a bout of anxiety or depression, or whatever it is that you’re going through at the time? Are you letting them know what it is that’s going on or do you hide it? Or, is that something that you struggle with?

[Sally] No. With Outta, they know that it’s supporting mental health [initiatives]. I’ve told my kids that mommy, in the past, has had depression and I’ve explained to them what depression is. My daughter, who is 10, knew about it because they’ve talked about it at school. One of the teachers actually opened up about his own experience with it and how he had to go on medication. So she actually knew what it was. When they were really young, that was the last time that I was depressed and in bed, and it was a whole summer when I was really ill. I don’t think they remember that because they were quite young. So I tell them when I’m anxious and we talk about it. I’ve taught them how to talk to their anxiety and be with it. I’m trying to teach them techniques that I feel work for me and I don’t really make it a big deal. I tell them it will go away, that it always goes away. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but it will go away if you don’t feed it.

So, yes I’m open with it. I’m a pretty emotional and intense person anyway, so in our household we don’t really hide our emotions; we let them be and we talk about it and move on. I don’t really think it’s helpful for anyone [to not talk about it] and we are trying to bring awareness, so the whole point is to talk about what’s going on. My son is nine and he’s a boy, so he doesn’t really care [right now] but my daughter listens and I think she understands.

[John] And your husband?

[Sally] [My husband] is very solid in his emotions, where he doesn’t take them very seriously. Actually, when I met him I was depressed and he stuck around. I’ll be the first to say that I am not easy to live with at all; I am up and down, up and down and it takes a man like him to be married to me because he’s very grounded. He doesn’t take anything too seriously and he’s very calming to be around and very supportive. He’s great.

[John] You have a background in hair styling; did that lend itself at all to starting this new venture?

[Sally] I think so. When I first started doing hair dressing, I was very passionate about it. I was very young – I started when I was 18. I was very ambitious and I wanted to have my own hair salon at that time. I wanted to own my own ‘thing’. I didn’t want to work for somebody forever. I wanted to open my own salon and I had it all designed in my head and I knew what it was going to look like. That was a decision that I wasn’t confident enough to make. So, I didn’t go that route and I ended up working at a really nice, wonderful salon for about 13 years. Something inside me though, was always telling me there was more; that there was something else I was supposed to do. Then I had kids and decided to focus on being home with my kids. But I always had this entrepreneurial urge, so I think that doing this now has stemmed from that.

It’s funny that when you’re in it, you don’t really see the connections – it’s only when you look back. I’ve been thinking that I remember feeling the way I’m feeling now about my company, when I was young and pumped and I was set on owning my own salon. My passion isn’t in hair styling anymore so I have no desire to open up a salon but I do have a desire to run a business, so I do think that has definitely played a part in it.

[John] So, what is Outta?

[Sally] Outta is, right now, a small apparel and accessory line. Meaning, we only have tank tops and hair ties. We have two items, but that is eventually going to grow. I didn’t want to just start with only a couple of things, but then I never would have started. If I had to have all of these things lined up I would have never got it going. So I decided to just start and see where it goes. We are introducing t-shirts very soon, because people are asking for them. Lots of people want to wear t-shirts.

It’s not really about the apparel though, funny enough. It’s about the message. It’s really about my personal mantra that I have adopted into my life. The message is to ‘get outta your head’. That came to me through an amazing therapist of mine; I call her Doctor V. I remember, the last time that I had depression, my best friend recommended that I go to see her. I sat with her for two hours and I was just sobbing and sobbing because I didn’t want to be depressed. I wanted somebody to tell me I wasn’t depressed, that I was just having a hard time. Even though deep down I knew I was, I wanted somebody to tell me that I wasn’t.

After my rant and my sobbing ended, I looked at her and I said, ‘I’m depressed, aren’t I?’ This desperate question, and she looked at me and said, ‘yes’. She said, ‘you are depressed but that’s because you’re in here [Sally pointed to her head]. You’re in your head. We’re going to get you out of your head and we’re going to get you in here [Sally motioned towards her chest], into your heart.’ That was the last thing she said to me and I went home and I was thinking ‘what? Yes! That’s exactly what it is!’ It was just so simple and that’s exactly what she did. She took me from my head to my heart. Her therapy was not your traditional, cognitive therapy; it was much deeper than that. It was learning to connect to that place inside of me that I had never connected with, because I had been so distracted and I had been living in my head forever – since I was a kid. So I really owe the phrase to her because she said that to me and it’s something that has stuck with me ever since. So I know when I’m getting really anxious or overthinking and just going to that place of thinking I can’t handle things, I tell myself to stop and that I’m in my head – to go take some deep breaths, do yoga, do whatever I need to do to get out of that place. I don’t want to live in there any more.

So I thought that if I feel like this, I’m sure a lot of people feel like this. It’s such a simple but powerful message and so I wanted to tell people about it. I thought a fun way of telling people about it would be on clothing. I know for me, while I was going through therapy I also started doing yoga and I became really serious about a yoga routine and a meditation routine. That played a huge part in my healing and I still do it today. I feel like that’s my medicine. So that’s why with Outta, we promote yoga, meditation, activity and movement – that type of self-care. I know it’s different for everyone but for me, that’s something that I do that I find super helpful and I know when I don’t do it, I see a big difference. So at Outta, we promote self-care and support mental health at the same time because it goes hand-in-hand.

So that’s how Outta came to be. It was just an idea, wondering how I could get this message out and I thought I could put it on something. I thought tank tops were good because you can do activity in them or you can [wear them for something else]; and hair ties because I have the background from being a hairdresser and I just thought it would be something fun. So that’s what we’ve started with and I hope that it will grow and expand. But I’m just starting out, so we’ll see.

[John] You’ve talked about self-care and on your website you call it self-care apparel…

[Sally] Self-care awareness apparel.

[John] How would you define what that is? To me, that was even a new term.

[Sally] So self-care awareness apparel is basically bringing awareness to the importance of self-care; with anybody, whether you have mental health issues or not. It’s important for everyone, but because we’re supporting mental health, the importance of self-care in recovery or healing and maintaining your well-being is really important, especially in our culture. So that’s why we named it self-care awareness apparel (a friend helped me name it – I won’t take all the credit for it). Because the awareness is really important – you need the awareness first, to say ‘hey, there’s something up and I need to do something about it’; and we’re advocating for self-care.

So that’s why we wanted to donate proceeds to mental health initiatives. Anything to do with mental health, we’re open to; programs, initiatives, charities, organizations – all of it. There’s a lot of great stuff going on so I didn’t want to lock into one specific charity; I wanted to be open to [different things]. There are lots of schools bringing [in] mindfulness programs. Students are even starting mental health initiatives, so I would be more than happy to help out if a bunch of students were starting something in a school and they don’t have the funds for it. I’d love to be a part of that. It’s a lot of reaching out and getting the word out and networking; that’s a lot of what I’m doing right now. It’s hard, it’s very hard - a lot of work, a lot of time. I have to remind myself that we just launched last month [February 2016], I’m barely a month old. I can barely send an email and now I’m on all these social media platforms and I’m trying to figure it all out. I need someone to help me, so I have my family helping me. It’s gonna take time, for sure, but I’m positive that something will come out of it.

[John] Things already are coming from it.

[Sally] Yeah, things already are coming out of it. I think if we reach the right people, then it will create some sort of change somewhere.

END PART 1

We hope you’ve enjoyed reading Part One of our interview with Sally. This has been a wonderful experience and we are really looking forward to sharing Part Two very soon, so stay tuned!

If you would like to have a look at Outta or contact Sally, please visit:

getouttayourhead.com

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Take, Take, Take...

MARCH 23rd, 2016

By LANA CARBON

My entire life I have been curious about the paranormal. As I have written in previous entries, strange occurrences have happened to me which make me feel there are definitely things going on outside of the mundane world we recognize day by day. I believe (on a case-by-case basis) in the existence of spirits and people with psychic abilities. From a relatively young age I felt like I needed to learn as much as I could and by the time I started junior high school, had already started to collect divination tools, movies and quite the library on anything magical, mystical and supernatural. One part of my collection grew more quickly than perhaps all the rest combined, even though I didn’t even believe in their existence; I seemed to be enthralled by vampires.

The fascination began with the literary heavy hitters (Bram Stoker’s Dracula, Anne Rice’s Lestat de Lioncourt and John Polidori’s Lord Ruthven) but truly reached its peak watching them come to life (so to speak) on the big screen. Bela Lugosi, Christopher Lee, Max Schrek… each played the role so differently but all equally legendary for their characterizations of the immortal undead. 

Originally, vampires had none of the charm that fiction portrayed these creatures as possessing. Legend states that they were more like our modern zombies. Returning to a semblance of life to feed their never ending hunger for blood, these beings would return to wreak havoc on their families. In a less scientific time, folklore created these creatures as an answer to outbreaks of consumption.

Neither of these are the types of vampires that have inspired me to write this article however. No, that reason is a bit more personal.

Have you ever had one of those days where you are happy, energetic and just so full of life that you feel like you could do anything; and then you perhaps end up in a crowd and slowly you start to get a little tired, lethargic, or maybe even a little depressed and really have no idea why it may have happened? Sometimes a heated exchange with a co-worker or an intense emotional interaction can leave you feeling drained; but what if you don’t remember anyone saying or doing anything to change the way you were feeling. So, what could have possibly happened to impact you in such a way?

The answer could be that you were the victim of a psychic vampire. A psychic vampire is a living being that drains energy from their victims much like the legends say vampires drink blood. This exchange of energy actually happens every day with ordinary people but normally it is in a give and take scenario. With psychic vampires, there is only taking. But please don’t get too upset if someone does this to you; most of these people don’t even realize they are responsible for stealing your energy.

Is there a way to recognize one of these energy thieves? No… they aren’t necessarily the Goth kids dressed all in black, reading Byron or Poe and listening to Sisters of Mercy or Siouxsie and the Banshees… however they certainly could be. Although it is not an exact science, some of the traits to look for are a person who never seems satisfied, has low energy themselves (possibly even appearing fatigued), seeks constant reassurances and nurturing, and often maintains feelings of rejection or even abandonment.1

For years, I thought this might be me. In small groups, after a short ‘warming up’ period, I could allow my personality to come through. I was even a bit of a joker. I hoped that I could gain more approval by making those around me laugh. At larger gatherings, I was the wallflower. I felt that abandonment as my friends went to mingle with those outside my social circle. I withdrew from everyone and grew emotionally exhausted.

So as you can see, the attributes I listed earlier seemed to fit me to a ‘T’. It reached a point where I was actually noticing others seemingly losing their energy while I was around, as I began to feel a little better before slipping once more into the emotionally drained state I had been in prior to being in their company. Looking back, I wonder if this was the reason that I seemed subconsciously drawn to vampiric lore and if so, is it part of the reason that I recognized what was happening when so many others don’t realize the effect they have on the people around them.

For a while I even tried to embrace this lifestyle and thereby be able to control what I was doing. I had purchased Michelle Belanger’s Psychic Vampire Codex which demonstrated how relationships with willing energy donors would allow someone to master the energy manipulation. I actually even found someone that I trusted enough to explain my theory of what I believed I was at the time, and who accepted me for it. The result was not what the Codex had demonstrated, as the relationship quickly fell apart in a rather emotionally destructive manner. (To make it clear, I am not blaming Michelle Belanger or her book for this turn of events. It is a greatly informative read for anyone interested in energy work and I still highly recommend it.) 

I slipped back into that lethargic state. Not wanting to continue along this path, I started researching other means of boosting my own energy without taking it from others. Energy exists in everything after all. If I had to take it from another source then I could at least try to take it from somewhere else. Meditation seemed to help a little but it wasn’t until I met John, who is very adept at energy work, that things have started to turn around. She has been there to show me new techniques when it comes to collecting energy, to keep me in a more positive frame of mind in all aspects of my life and, most importantly, be that one person I know that I can trust to keep me balanced. It is NOT about the take, take, take… it is about sharing with others. As my partner in all areas of my life, she makes me capable of sharing myself with her. Using that same blueprint (obviously to a lesser degree), I can share myself with others thereby reconnecting with that healthy give and take flow of energy. I still have the occasional spell where I feel like I could fall back into that need for an energetic boost; but I fight hard against it and try to gain energy through other means. As they say, you have to take it one day at a time. 

Chris Medina: Psychic Medium - Part 5

MARCH 10th, 2016

By JOHN LILIES & LANA CARBON

[John] Well dear readers, we have reached the fifth and final part of our interview with Psychic Medium Chris Medina. Missed the first part? You can click here to read it and you will find the second part here. To read Part Three, please click here and you can access Part Four here.

In Part Four, we learned more about Chris’ abilities and the deep effect they have had on his life. Spend some time with us now as we conclude this great conversation. This has been a wonderful adventure for us and we truly value the time Chris spent with us and all that he has shared. So, go grab a blanket, make your favourite drink, get cozy and settle in for the last of our interview with Psychic Medium Chris Medina of Platinum Predictions.

[John] So, going on a totally different tangent, we were very recently listening to your interview on Paranormal Underground Radio: In the Dark and you were talking about astrology. We are not that well versed in astrology but you were talking about double and triple signs and we were stumped because we had no idea what you were talking about. Lana knows all the signs and understands way more about it than I do…

[Lana] Which is still not that much though.

[John] …but that tells you how little I do understand. It was really interesting for us and we were hoping that you could help us understand the double and triple signs.

[Chris] Astrology, I have a deep fondness for. I met a woman, her name is Vanda Pitt – she’s no longer with us – and she was what I called my spiritual godmother. She came into my life at a point where I was going through a really, really tough time with huge changes; I’d just gone through what they call a Saturn return which is a karmic return. It’s a huge lesson that you go through. I met her at a store called the Psychic Eye, in Sherman Oaks California, and she asked me if I’d ever had my chart done. I told her ‘no’ and that all I knew was that I’m a Taurus and that’s it. She was from Kentucky and she said [Chris added in a Kentucky accent] ‘Oh honey, let me tell you about this! There is so much more to this’ and I told her to tell me. It’s fascinating. What she did was called a Natal Chart. What that is, is your birth date – the month, day, year – the exact time of birth, and the city and state that you were born in. Based on that information, you run it through a program on your computer, and it spits out what’s called a Natal Chart. That Natal Chart is very specific to that individual. It’s like a thumbprint. No two charts are alike. Even if you’re a twin, you’re born a couple minutes away from each other, it changes - not drastically but it does change.

There are twelve houses in this natal chart and each house represents something. The first house is public image, you know, how the public sees you. The second house is finance. The third house is communication. The fourth house is home and family. The fifth is entertainment. The sixth is the mental house along with how you work with other people. The seventh house is the house of relationships. The eighth is the house of life and death. The ninth house is the house of higher learning. The tenth house is the career house. The eleventh is friends, hopes, wishes and dreams, and then the twelfth house is a subconscious house.

So what they do is they use all of the planets – Mercury, Mars, they all mean something – and you’re born under three different signs. You have your sun sign, which is the one that everybody looks for under the horoscopes (mine would be a Taurus); and you also have what’s called the moon sign, which rules your emotions. Mine happens to be in the sign of Pisces which is the reason people would say ‘that’s why you’re psychic’, because my moon is in Pisces which is a very intuitive sign. It’s the ‘feeling’ sign. Then you have what’s called your rising sign and your rising sign is how you come across to the world, how the world looks at you. Mine is in the sign of Capricorn. So right away that’s why people tell me I always look very serious, very ambitious and very driven. That’s the Capricorn coming out in me. So I think [in that radio show] one of the guys had a double Virgo and if you know anything about the signs [chuckling while saying this], to have the sun and moon in Virgo is a very nervous, OCD-type person.

You can really find out a lot about yourself. It was very therapeutic for me to learn this and I use a little bit of astrology in my readings. It’s usually men that I have a difficult time reading because they just don’t want to let go sometimes; and I’ll ask them for their birth date and they’ll just give me the month, day and year and I’m able to find out what their sun and moon is in. Their moon tells me the way that they are and why they’re being the way that they are. A lot of times, the guys that I was reading before, would have their moon in Taurus. To have the moon in Taurus, that’s a very practical person that’s not gonna give you much. They are going to be very stubborn and very ‘well you tell me before I tell you’. That lightens up the mood tremendously because at least then they’re tripping out. They’re like ‘Oh wow, that’s fascinating’ and you open up a whole different conversation; it relaxes them. So that’s my astrology. [Chris was very light-hearted at this point, laughing while talking about it].

There are a lot of things that you can do with it. You can actually pinpoint events in your life; it can tell you when it’s a good time to do something or why you’re having such a bad day. I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of Mercury retrograde?

[John] After listening to that interview, when you mentioned it, we were looking it up because we couldn’t understand what it all meant; so we had to do a little research to figure out what you guys were talking about.

[Chris] Yeah, Mercury retrograde is when Mercury goes backwards. That’s usually a time when there’s a breakdown of communication, it’s always a time for reflection. People look at it as a negative thing; always look at it as a positive because it gives you the ability to go back and correct any mistakes that you made or that you need to reflect on. Based on the sign that it goes into, it can tell you how you can utilize it to your benefit. During that time you’ll notice that people have issues with communication, your car breaks down, computer issues, your plans fall through; that’s why people dread a Mercury retrograde, especially people in the technology industry.

[John] [I was laughing somewhat with relief at this stage] You’re making me happy that I’m actually not paying attention to astrology because I think I would have continuous panic attacks if I were thinking about it like that.

[Chris] I actually know a woman that I’m very close to, she’s a Master Astrologer, and she can actually do the charts by hand. Her and I collaborate a lot too, because she’s completely fascinated by it all and she says ‘Wow you are picking up what’s going on in their chart and I’m telling you I’m confirming exactly what your readings are, because this is exactly what’s going on right now’.

I think that astrology is underrated. I think that people should know more about it. I love it. I’m a huge fan of it. The reason that I don’t really go too far into astrology is because I’m really horrible at math and there are a lot of calculations and I just don’t have the energy for it. My brain is fried. I use it more on a psychic level than anything else.

John’s note: Chris proceeded to provide us with our sun and moon signs. I found out that my sun is in Virgo and my moon is in Aquarius, which Chris said is ‘all about the world and how we can make it a better place’. So, while I’m eager to work on the details, I’m someone who ‘can kind of get over things quickly, like - okay let’s not dwell on this, let’s move on, let’s figure out a way that we can move on’. Lana found this last bit very amusing and started laughing (maybe a little more than he needed to)…

[Lana] [Emphatically] That was the best John impersonation I’ve ever heard.

[Chris] Because the Virgo, automatically that’s the sign of details. That’s the servicer. That’s the person that can put things in order, that can organize everything and does not have time for emotional stuff. ‘Let’s get this over and done with, let’s figure out a way that we can really do this and then be done with it.’

[Lana] [Still laughing – a lot] Awesome.

John’s note: Chris moved on to Lana’s information, telling us his sun is in Libra and his moon in Sagittarius. This is where I got to laugh with what Chris was saying, and I’ll admit maybe I also laughed more than necessary. Or maybe I didn’t.  

[Chris] That’s somebody that finds the humour in everything. That is somebody that when – I mean, yeah it’s fine to be sad and when you’re at a funeral and stuff be sad, but he’s the kind of person that would find a joke to make that way. Just trying to lighten the mood.

[John] [Laughing and amazed] So bang on the head!

[Chris] The moon in Sagittarius, too, is always somebody that wants to know a little bit about everything. So it can be a very restless sign too, because you want to always learn. You want to know more, you want to travel, it’s the sign of travel too - it’s ruled by Jupiter. It’s a planet of expansion, which also can be difficult to deal with because with that person’s emotions, if you’re depressed you’re overly depressed. If you’re happy you can kind of be overly happy at times. So you have to try to find that balance, which with that sun in Libra it would be a little more balancing for you so it doesn’t give you that opportunity to go way overboard as you normally would if you had a different sign there, because Libra’s there.

[Lana] Good thing I’m a Libra then!

[John] Wow. You’re creating for me a greater respect for astrology now. That’s crazy that you can figure that out.

John’s note: Aware of the time we had spent thus far with Chris, we knew we had to begin closing out our discussion and allow Chris to get back to his afternoon. Though we had many more questions, we switched gears a bit and turned towards the conclusion.

You have been incredibly gracious with your time, so we’re going to move towards wrapping up, although I feel like I could talk to you for at least another full day. We just have a few questions left for you.

[Lana] These are the tough ones.

[John] What inspires you?

[Chris] My kids inspire me. My biggest inspiration is my children. They were placed in my life for a reason, as most parents would say but I just – [thoughtful pause] - they keep me going. They keep me grounded. They keep me here.

[John] What is your intention in this life?

[Chris] To touch as many people as I can. To awaken as many minds as I can. I know it’s going to sound cliché and it’s going to sound like what every psychic says but to help – to spiritually guide as many people as I can. To basically do what I’m supposed to do. I don’t really talk about this a lot on podcasts but this life that I’m living now is a very important one. This is the one where all the lessons that I’ve gone through in the lives before, I strongly believe have led up to this, to where the next one is going to be free. I can just feel it. I know what I’m supposed to do and it’s not that I want to get it over with; I want to experience it. There’s nothing more rewarding than looking at somebody that comes to you broken and you send them off with that new lease on life, with hope.

[John] What would you really like our readers to know about Chris Medina?

[Chris] [Long thoughtful pause] That’s such a good one. That’s so difficult. [Chris really struggled with finding the words here and spent some time in thought] I would want everyone to know that I’m here to help, that I am real. I guess, to make it simple, that I’m here to help, that I’m here to bring you hope; I’m here to assist. That, basically, is why I’m here – is to assist those in need.

After everything that I’ve gone through, everything that I’ve experienced, everything that I’ve endured; all the situations that I’ve been placed in is to make me better relatable to who you are. I want you to know that I know exactly what you’re going through because I’ve been through it and I can help you.

THE END

***

[John] Lana and I wish to extend our sincerest gratitude to Chris for the time he spent with us and for sharing a part of himself for this interview. We spent a long time talking to Chris and though we can only bring so much to the blog, we truly appreciate Chris’ honesty with us and his willingness to open himself up to us and to all of our readers in such a personal way. This was an incredible experience and we look forward to more time with Chris in the future, as his own path continues to develop and move forward.

How did you like our interview? Please Leave us a comment here, tweet us @carbonlilies or comment on our Facebook page to let us know. We value your feedback!

Would you like to contact Chris Medina? Check out the links below…

 

Twitter

Facebook

Instagram

Post-script… [Lana] I would just like to thank John for taking the lion’s share of work on this interview. She did everything from asking the majority of questions (as always) to doing practically all the transcribing and putting together the finished product. It was a lot of work and I just wanted to say that it was much appreciated.


UPDATE

Chris has since changed to a new website. You can now find him at chrismedina.guide for all your mediumistic enquiries.

Chris Medina: Psychic Medium - Part 4

MARCH 8th, 2016

By JOHN LILIES & LANA CARBON

[John] This is the fourth part of our interview with Psychic Medium Chris Medina. If you haven’t read the first part yet, you can click here should you like to start with it and you will find the second part here. To read Part Three, please click here.

In Part Three we learned about Chris discovering his abilities and some of his unsettling experiences growing up.  

Please hang out with us now as we delve into Part Four. Make yourself comfy, grab a drink and settle in for more of our interview with Psychic Medium Chris Medina of Platinum Predictions. (Part Five will be out soon!)

[John] Are you able to explain what it’s like when you receive your information? Is it like somebody is telling you or giving you the information, is it a visual image, or do you know where it’s from?

[Chris] Um, the way that it feels like to me, if I was on the outside of it looking in, it’s just given to me. I can’t hear a voice but I can feel that presence there. To me personally, since I’ve known it for so long, I want to say it’s like a male figure. He’s been with me for so long it feels almost like my dad. I can’t hear a male voice; I can’t hear an actual voice, it’s just information given to me. I can’t tell you whether it’s male or female. I can tell you that to me, whatever it is, it feels like a father figure type. They’ll post images in my head, they’ll tell me what to say, if I’m nervous they’ll tell me to relax. Again, it’s not really a voice – it isn’t something that’s being said to me, it’s just inputted. That’s the best way to describe it for me.

[John] I find it fascinating that you almost can’t explain it because it is so natural for you.

[Chris] Yeah, I guess what people don’t understand is that I’m used to this. It’s something that I’ve just known my entire life – I don’t know anything else but this.

[John] You mentioned before that the activity for you gets really heavy at night; that they don’t let you sleep, and we’ve heard you in other interviews talk about how you can’t really turn it off. Why is that? Why do you think you can’t turn it off and what kind of an effect does that have on your life?

[Chris] I don’t know why – I’m just not supposed to. Again, this is something that’s been going on ever since I can remember so I’m used to it. I’ll be lucky if I can get five to six hours of sleep a night – I’m constantly on. Whether it’s spirits or entities or things like that, I can say ‘not now’ but the psychic stuff, no absolutely not. It’s overwhelming but it’s something that I’m used to. [Laughing as he says this…] I used to smoke pot in order for it to kind of numb me so I could kind of escape a little bit. I don’t drink and the pot would only be at night but even then they were telling me ‘Nope. You’d better cut it out,’ and I’d be like ‘well it’s the only thing that relaxes me’ and they’d tell me no and I’d tell them I’m gonna do it; and then I did it and believe-you-me, they have a way of kicking me in the butt to get me to pay attention. They are not afraid to do it and I know that feeling. When it’s time to give something up or to walk away from a relationship or walk away from a certain situation and they tell me ‘you gotta go’, I don’t question it.

[John] Well that’s probably smart, I mean typically they know a little bit more than we do. Does it ever feel frustrating to you? Do you ever wish that you could control it somehow? Or are you just at that point now where you understand that you just have to accept it and that’s just the way it is for you?

[Chris] I never expect the relationship part of it, that’s something that I have a hard time with. As outgoing as I have to be to the public, as far as my personal life goes – relationships - having this ability and dealing with it and knowing and just seeing how people are, you know, picking up on their intention, the thing that I suffer from are my intimate relationships. That’s the one thing that I have a hard time with, is being able to be close to somebody. You know, I’ve met certain people that I consider to be different or to be – not sacred or holy but to be good people – and then meeting them and just knowing right off the bat that’s not who they are, and what their intention is, I’ll mess with it. I’ll give it a try just to see, so I can ‘learn this lesson that you’re trying to teach me’. To sum it all up the thing that I have the most difficult time with is relationships with people – friendships, intimate relationships.

[John] I think I can understand that. If you’re picking up on intimate details about that person, that you might not want to know and they might not want you to know; it must be intimidating for the other person to have the awareness that you may know a lot of stuff about them and you may be feeling things about them or seeing things that they’re trying to keep to themselves. It’s got to be really tough and frustrating for you too, and I would think depressing at times as well.

[Chris] Yeah it’s very depressing. I mean, it may sound a little sad. I just know what I have to do and I knew as far back as I can remember, as a kid, that it was going to be lonely; that it was going to be difficult as far as with people. So when relationships didn’t work out I was told it’s just time to move on. As much as I serve a purpose in their life, they served a purpose in mine whether it was to have that feeling of intimacy or friendship, in the back of my mind I just know it’s gonna be a lonely life. I mean it doesn’t have to be but to me it’s safe. It may sound horrid, it may sound sad but it’s safe for me to not get too close.

John’s note: We could feel a sense of heaviness move into the conversation and though I was keen to explore things further with Chris, we decided to move in a slightly different direction at this point.

[Lana] Do you ever make any prediction that doesn’t make sense in the moment but it does come to fruition or is realized much later on?

[Chris] Yes [deep sigh], it happens. I don’t follow the news all the time, I follow as much as I can but it can be very depressing to me. So when I get hits about things – about worldly type events, you know, wars or people coming into a position of power – and it doesn’t make sense to me at that time, I’ll tell my manager Jay who I’m really close with, ‘you know I got this hit off of this but I don’t know who it is’. He’ll ask me to describe what I’m seeing and to tell him what I’m getting and I’ll say something like (as an example) ‘it’s just this man, it’s a man from another country that’s coming into a position of power but the way that he’s doing it is… blah blah blah’ and Jay will ask me if he looks like this [particular image] and it will be someone that’s actually on the news. Those types of things don’t make sense to me.

[Lana] You do readings in person and you do readings over the phone, by distance or by Skype. Do you find it easier to do readings in person or does that even matter to you?

[Chris] Oh I’d much rather do them in person. Yeah, I have to look at your eyes. I have to see you. I can do photo readings, I’m not knocking those but to be able to touch that person or look at them, I’d much rather do my readings in person. Then that person gets a better feel for me too. When meeting people that I gave readings to over the phone and then meeting them in person, it’s just a better vibe and a better connection in person because they always say there’s something different about my energy when they meet me in person versus on the phone. I feel the same way about them too because I can confirm what I was getting from them too and I can explain why.

[John] I would think that body language plays into that as well, in terms of somebody being open versus being very closed and maybe scared or unsure; that it helps you to be able to see that rather than to just hear it over the phone and not really be sure of what it is that you’re picking up on.

[Lana] And the best way to deliver what it is that you have to tell them.

[Chris] Right. Yeah, because the phone is informal especially when you’re giving them readings regarding their life and personal situations; you’re making predictions about their health and there’s no way to sit there and comfort them and hold their hand and say ‘Oh my God I’m so sorry but… blah blah blah’ and they’re crying. I like to be able to comfort them.

[Lana] Do you ever record your readings so that you can revisit them later on or track your accuracy?

[Chris] No, I never record my readings. I don’t mind if the client records the readings but I never record the readings. Some of the stuff that we discuss is very personal and to me it would be like having it lingering around for a little bit. I don’t know if that makes sense to you – I just want to be able to deliver what I have to deliver and then move on.

[John] Do you ever wish that you could go back to any of those readings and revisit them? Knowing that you don’t record anything, are there ever any times that you wish you had that in your back pocket?

[Chris] No, and I’ll tell you why. When I do these readings and I get the information, the only way I can describe it – the reason why I don’t promote the love and light and the reason that my readings are very direct, is because whatever I give that person within the first 30-40 minutes of that reading, is what I need to get out. You know what, to be honest with you, sometimes I don’t remember. I don’t know if that makes sense. I will remember the person and the reading but not the details. It’s almost like ‘please don’t stop me, I have to get this out’. I have to tell you what I’m saying and then once I’m done it’s kind of like a relief.

END PART 4

***

Here, we have reached the end of the fourth part of our interview with Chris Medina. There’s still some final ground to cover, so please stay tuned for Part Five to be released this week!

How do you think you would handle your sleep being constantly interrupted by your psychic abilities? What would you do? Tweet your answers to @carbonlilies or comment here or on our Facebook page to let us know.  

Would you like to contact Chris Medina? Check out the links below…

Website

Twitter

Facebook

Instagram

Chris Medina: Psychic Medium - Part 3

MARCH 6th, 2016

By JOHN LILIES & LANA CARBON

[John] Well hello there. This is the third part of our interview with Psychic Medium Chris Medina. If you haven’t read the first part yet, you can click here if you’d like to start with it and you will find the second part here.

In Part Two we learned a lot about Chris’ personal and work ethic as a Psychic Medium, and the frustration involved with witnessing the effects of readings from those in the industry who are not always so well intentioned.

So spend some time with us now for Part Three… settle in with a yummy beverage for more of our interview with Psychic Medium Chris Medina of Platinum Predictions. (Part Four will be out soon!)

[Lana] We’re going to go back a little bit to when you had your first experience that you can recall. What was your reaction to it when you realized what was happening?

[Chris] My first memory of being psychic or knowing that I was different – I mean I’ve had stories that my father told me where I was doing readings for his friends when he would have little get-togethers at the house – but for me personally, it was when I was around three or around that age, maybe four. I had really bad asthma as a kid. I almost died – I lived in a plastic bubble for a long time. Back then it was a plastic bubble that they put you in. Feeling so weak, feeling that sick, at the age of four I just knew I was going to die. I said it out loud, ‘I want to die. I know that I’m getting ready to die.’ Then I heard it, ‘No, you’re not going to. There are things that you have to do first.’ I heard it as plain as day. That was my first experience with it. People can say that it was a near-death experience but it wasn’t. Before that happened, I would feel certain things but that is the first memory that sticks out in my head – that voice telling me ‘No. Don’t give up’.

My mind wasn’t that of a four-year-old – I don’t know if this makes sense to you but I always felt that I’ve always had this same mindset. I didn’t have the same experiences but I had the same mindset. I feel like I’ve always had it. At a young age I would just know certain things, know what people were about, know how to maneuver through certain situations as I would as an adult. I didn’t have the experience of what I was doing but I was always guided. I always felt that my mentality was so far ahead for my age. I mean, to sit there and contemplate death, contemplate my future, have visions of what’s going to come, dreams. Yeah, four years old was the first time that I knew - that I really knew - that there was something majorly different about me.

[John] And it never scared you?

[Chris] It didn’t scare me until I started feeling the spirits. I didn’t know whether they were good or whether they were bad - there was just always something here. The hairs on my neck would stand up. As soon as it was time to go to sleep I just knew ‘Oh it’s going to start’. I would sneak off into my sister’s bedroom for comfort to sleep because they would literally wake me up out of my sleep. I could hear them walking on the carpet, whispering ‘He can hear us, he sees us, this is him, this is him’.

[John] That would creep me out now let alone when I was a kid. How old were you when you first realized that you were hearing and seeing spirits?

[Chris] We had just moved into our new house so that was at the age of seven. When I went to go sneak into my sister’s room to sleep with her, I woke up because I felt something and I looked (the door was open) and I saw what looked like my sister waiting for the bathroom. This was an actual image – not my mind’s eye – this was physical. This little girl, standing there in front of the door and she looked at me and she said, ‘Shh’. I was like ‘Hurry up’ because I thought it was my sister. I turned over and my sister was in bed with me.

John’s note: I must admit at this point both Lana and I expressed nervous laughter and I was feeling very creeped out by this story. I would have nightmares now, as an adult, were that to happen to me – as a child, though, I’d have been a total wreck!

[Chris] As a kid – I don’t know if it was journeying or astral projection or whatever it was at the time I did not know, and to this day I still do not know what was going on, but I would turn over and I would hit a wall. I would turn over again and I would hit another wall. It felt like I was in a box and I could not open my eyes. I could not open my eyes until they were done telling me what they needed to tell me. I look back at that and it was more lessons at that time, like ‘this is what you have to go through; we’re telling you’. I didn’t feel like those were spirits, I felt like those were – if you want to say my guides.

[John] Wow. I don’t think I’d handle that very well as a kid.

[Chris] Yeah, I made the mistake of playing with Ouija boards too.

John’s note: At this point, I felt conflicted. My audible reaction was ‘Oh’ but internally I was feeling both dread and excitement. I’ve been reconciling my previous feelings of fear regarding the Ouija board and though I’m not feeling strong enough in my own energy to be able to try using a Ouija board and be confident in a positive outcome, I definitely no longer view it as a portal for negativity only. As Chris introduced his Ouija experience, I was nervous to likely hear a negative story but excited to learn about how it shaped his life experience.

[Chris] After I realized the whole Medium thing and speaking to the other side, one of my sister’s friends came over and she had a Ouija board. I asked her what it was and she was surprised I didn’t know. She was seven and I was nine and I said ‘No, what is it?’ and she goes, ‘It’s a game. You can talk to ghosts’. I asked her what she meant and how it worked and she said ‘You just move this thing around and ask questions to it’. I got so involved with it. I would make my own and my mom would thrown them out and I was so obsessed with it that I would make my own out of cardboard. I would ask them questions like ‘where’s this’ and ‘where’s that’ and I would literally feel that presence there. I’d ask ‘Give me a sign that you’re here’ and the phone - back then it was actual telephones not cell phones - we had a phone on the wall and it would ‘ding’.

I spent a lot of time growing up dabbling in the spiritual realm. Dreams, too, dreams were huge for me. I spent a lot of time alone. I didn’t come from the best family so a lot of my time was spent alone in my room sleeping. I would sleep – I would want to travel and dream of other things. I knew I had the ability to dream of anything I wanted to. If I wanted to find out things, I knew that all I had to do was just go to sleep and think about it. I would meet different people; to me it was a huge escape mechanism growing up, to have this ability.

[John] Did you decide at any point to stop using Ouija boards or is that something you would still dabble in now?

[Chris] No. I stopped using Ouija boards. I had a really bad experience. During that time I started getting into Witchcraft. I met somebody that was involved in Santeria and I was fascinated by it. I know it sounds weird and people say ‘Well why would you do that for?’ but it was a lesson that I had to go through. I had to see what was going on and see how it worked and pick up that vibe and that intention off it. So I had a really bad experience; I was messing with the Ouija board and I let something in and whatever it was, it was not human. It felt almost like an animal, kind of, and behind my door I could hear it breathing and kind of like laughing. It woke me up and I was wondering what it was doing; and that thing ran to the edge of my bed and bumped the bed and just left. So I said, ‘That’s it! I’m done!’

John’s note: At this point we all laughed a little bit and my own laughter was partly nervousness. I had the most sinister visual image as Chris described this creature and his experience, and I was trying very hard to not allow that image to settle deeply in my mind.

[Chris] Yeah. I just stopped. I just realized that it wasn’t for me. You know, my guides will tell me that that’s not something I should do, that ‘you’ve experienced it, you know that you shouldn’t do that, this is what you’re supposed to do’. I believe that it was all set up for an experience so I could witness it and see what’s going on, so when I do have readings with clients that are involved in anything like that and they’re having difficulty with it, I can relate to them on that level. I can talk about it through my experience as well.

END PART 3

***

Thus ends of the third part of our interview with Chris Medina but our chat continued with so much more, so please stay tuned for Part Four to be released very soon!

What do you think your reaction would have been as a child, seeing someone you thought was your sister standing in the hall looking at you, only to turn and find your sister beside you? Tweet us your answer @carbonlilies or comment on our Facebook page to let us know.  

Would you like to contact Chris Medina? Check out the links below…

Website

Twitter

Facebook

Instagram

Chris Medina: Psychic Medium - Part 2

MARCH 4th, 2016

By JOHN LILIES & LANA CARBON

[John] Hello again friends. This is the second part of our interview with Psychic Medium Chris Medina. If you haven’t read the first part yet, you can click here if you wish to start with it.

In Part One we learned about Chris’ role as a Psychic Medium, what it’s like when he ‘receives’ his information and that when people die, they don’t always become a different personality than they were in life; you aren’t always renewed or your soul isn’t always lifted. As Chris shared, “A lot of times the person that once was still remains that person.”

Join us now for Part Two… get yourself a cozy beverage and settle in for more of our interview with Psychic Medium Chris Medina of Platinum Predictions. (Part Three will be out soon!)

[Lana] What was it like for you to first identify yourself to people as a Psychic Medium? What were their reactions and has that changed over the years?

[Chris] It was a shock to me, not necessarily to the public. I’ve always been this way, so growing up giving readings to my father, giving readings to my siblings and my cousins, and even my friends growing up in high school, to me it was always advice. They would always say ‘Go to Chris; Chris is usually good’ and even they never connected the whole psychic thing. They would just say ‘If you need someone to talk to, go talk to Chris; he’s really good at talking to people’. Jay (my manager) was the one who said I should really think about putting myself out there more and being more of a public image; that I’m helping other people. I was hesitant to put out there the name Psychic Medium. I thought the people that know me would think it was weird but they all said it made total sense. They’d just never thought about it that way because they were so used to it.

At the very beginning I used to be kind of nervous about getting the information wrong or that it wouldn’t make sense to the person. My guides would just tell me to ‘tell them what it is you need to tell them and it’s up to them for it to make sense’. I’ve done a couple podcasts where I’ve done readings on air and the people would say the information doesn’t make sense or it’s about issues going on with them that they don’t want to discuss on air. Then they’ll email me after the show and apologize, saying they were sorry for making me go through that but it wasn’t something they were prepared to answer on air. So to me the nervousness comes from me. I guess I’m the one with most of the issue when everybody else thinks it makes perfect sense; that what I’m doing makes sense.

[John] That’s often the way we are just as people. We’re usually a lot more intimidated by our own selves and insecure in that way when everyone else sees us totally differently.

[Lana] What do you find are people’s biggest assumptions or most common misconceptions about what it is that you do?

John’s note: Chris’ light-heartedness appeared here and he laughed a bit through this before becoming serious again. Both Lana & I also found his answer amusing and somewhat surprising; I guess we were expecting a different answer though what, I’m not sure.

[Chris] The biggest misconception is ‘Pull up lottery numbers for me’. Yeah, ‘Read my mind for me. If you’re a psychic, read my mind for me and tell me everything.’

[John] Really?

[Chris] Yeah. I find that funny. I’ve got a sense of humour with it all. I’ll play along with them for a little bit because nine out of ten times they’re more nervous about the reading than they’re wanting to admit.

I like those kind of skeptical people when they have those misconceptions; then after they sit there and talk to me a little bit and I warm up to them to where they realize it is not what they thought it was going to be. They’re nervous. When you start describing somebody’s life to them and you’ve never ever met them before, and you start bringing up things that have gone on in their childhood or pictures that they have in the house, they’re sitting there and questioning how you know that. They start to get uncomfortable. What I always say is that you blow their mind.

[John] Yeah, I can relate to that. I think we both can.

[Lana] I’m sure it helps, too, that you’re not like the normal assumption of what a Psychic is. You don’t do the love and light stuff and you profess that right up front.

John’s note: It became evident at this point just how serious Chris is about what he does as his personal and work ethics brilliantly shone through. There were moments when Chris’ frustrations were very clear in his tone and it really sounded as though he aches for more honestly-intentioned people to work in the field.

[Chris] Yeah, there’s nothing against it, don’t get me wrong. I’m all about love but when someone’s coming to you for help and they’re seeking spiritual guidance, you have a responsibility to be as honest, as truthful and as direct as you can be.

What I’ve witnessed going through these events and seeing different Psychics and different Mediums and intuitive people, is that what they do is they’ll coddle somebody. They’ll tell them that it’s all about having to love themselves and be open to the light, and this and that – but doing that, you’re not really doing anything for them, you’re not helping them, you’re pacifying them. If you have a message to deliver that can change their life, I believe that it is our responsibility to do that. I would feel horrible if I lied to somebody or they took what I had to say and they did something to themselves.

I’ve seen people do that. I’ve had clients come to me that were hypnotized, believing they were involved in some traumatic experience. All because that person wanted them to go back and pay the $200-$300 a session to give them these regressions when nothing really happened.

[John] That must be so infuriating for you.

[Chris] It is. It is because that’s what makes the public have this fear against us. ‘Well they’re just out to get your money. All they want is your money. They’re liars, they’re charlatans. They’re the Devil.’ No. I want to change the way the world views Psychics – people that are in the metaphysical world – because we do have abilities. You know, some of us are different; we have the ability to see into the past, present and future and talk to spirits on the other side. I can pick up on alien presences and things like that. There are other people who have the ability to heal – actually touch you and heal your body. We can do good in the world. We can change lives. We can make a difference. Not all of us are what you see on television.

[John] I appreciate the fact that you are aware of the damage that is being done and how people are discrediting what you do and who you are just because they want the money.

You’ve mentioned in other interviews that a lot of people say they were born with this ability but that you actually were and it made me curious. Do you find that often people falsely make that claim?

[Chris] Yeah. I get asked that question all the time. I get a lot of crap for that, for being honest. They ask me how I know that. This is just my opinion on it. [Long thoughtful pause here…] I believe that the people that say they have natural born, natural built-in abilities, when they really don’t are people that are being misled not only by themselves but by other people too. I’ve been in these meta-physical communities where what they do is they all stick together. They all band together. They don’t realize - no one has the heart to tell them they’re wrong.

Does that make sense? I hope that doesn’t come across as being rude. I don’t want to discredit people but again, I have a huge issue with claiming to be something that you’re not and then trying to go help people when you’re just as damaged to the person you’re reading - you’re not really doing anything. Like I had one lady tell me that she gives readings because it makes her feel good when she’s suffering from other things that are going on in her life. I said, ‘What you are doing is you’re distracting yourself by helping other people and you’re telling them things you want to hear about yourself and you’re not helping anybody. You’re giving these people false hope and then they go home and when these things don’t happen that you’re predicting for them, they’re not working, they’re not going out.’ I’ve seen it happen. The person that was hypnotized by people - she hypnotized a kid that was barely 18 years old that was not openly gay yet and had him believe that he was raped at a young age and he was suicidal afterwards.

No! I could never mislead somebody that way. Again, I would feel horrible if somebody committed suicide based on something that I said.

[John] That is tough to believe. I mean I know that it does happen – I know that there are people like that out there - and I sometimes wonder if it’s a lack of self-awareness, if it’s a lack of confidence, a lack of security; but regardless of what it is I find it unacceptable. It really gets to me when I hear stories like that. I’ve known some people who have had readings before and they’ve really thought it was so legitimate. Then they recount it to me and I think that something just doesn’t seem right about it. Again, it comes down to the money.

[Chris] You know, I have kids, I have a family to support and I do charge for my readings; but if somebody ever walked away after the reading and wasn’t satisfied with it, in all professionalism I would not be able to take their money. I guess that’s what sets me apart from someone that does it for the money but also does it under the wrong intention.

[John] You’re providing a service and that’s good customer service. If somebody is unhappy with the product or the result, you do what you can to rectify it. If you’re able to influence other people in the field, to be similar and to do the same, then you are serving a greater purpose than just with your intention of the readings themselves.

END PART 2

***

This marks the end of the second part of our interview with Chris Medina. Our in-depth conversation with Chris continued, so please stay tuned for Part Three to be released very soon!

Have you had a reading from a Psychic Medium and was it a positive experience? Tweet us @carbonlilies or comment here or on our Facebook page to let us know.  

Would you like to contact Chris Medina? Check out the links below…

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Chris Medina: Psychic Medium - Part 1

MARCH 2nd, 2016

By JOHN LILIES & LANA CARBON

[Lana] It is often funny how things come to pass. If you read our blog or happen to catch our presence on social media, odds are pretty good that you have heard us talk about the Haunted Walk. We had such a great time with them on their tours that we have tried to promote them every chance we get. So when they came to us in October 2015 about participating in a Haunted Talks podcast episode, we were thrilled to lend a hand. They were looking for someone to receive a reading from their guest for the Halloween episode, psychic medium Chris Medina. (You can listen to that episode here or here.)

[John] This was a daunting opportunity but ‘Yes’ was the only answer we knew and soon we were thinking about what we could possibly ask. Then we found out only one of us would actually be involved and that was handed to me. (If you haven’t noticed yet, while Lana is the super social person online where I’m quite awkward and therefore not often on Facebook or Twitter, I tend to be the one appointed for the main speaking roles in podcasts and interviews).

I had no idea what questions to ask Chris Medina – what did I really want to know? I decided that if I had to ask a question, I’d ask if my grandmother was around at all but otherwise I was really quite open to hearing whatever Chris had to tell me. Under normal circumstances this would have been an uncomfortable experience for me – I tend to feel like a hand is reaching inside of me whenever someone ‘reads’ me so it isn’t often something I go looking for – but this reading would be on a podcast for all to hear. Nauseated does not even begin to describe my sensation as the call began – thank you Jim Dean, for making it a friendly experience.

In the end, it was an incredible experience that left me shaking for a couple of hours and it also made me cry – partially from that sensation of someone reaching inside me and twisting around my insides for a while and partially from the hits Chris had. There were things that Chris picked up on that – sure I suppose they could have been lucky guesses and they just struck a chord with me but – I have no idea how he hit on such specific things that made so much sense to me.

[Lana] After hearing how accurate John’s reading was, I knew I had to have a reading from Chris as well. Chris was very accommodating and we quickly had an appointment set for a phone reading. Even though I was impressed by the experience John had received, I had never had this type of session myself and was a little unsure of what to expect. I was intent on trying to give as little information as possible so that I wouldn’t be caught up in any kind of leading questions that could result in a generalized reading with just enough private details to personalize. To my utter surprise, Chris was telling me things that there was no possible way he could know or pick up on from anything I was saying. For instance… I had surgery a while ago and he pinpointed the anatomical location without it ever being public knowledge. A few other more personal details, which I won’t go into here, were right on the money as well. Let’s just say that he was definitely making me a believer in his abilities.

We then began discussing the future. Some of it sounded promising and in the direction I am hoping for and then other pieces were a little confusing. (As a side note, it sounds like Carbon Lilies is an important part of our future and we are heading in the right direction with it.) Apparently there will be a few twists and turns ahead which, if they come to pass, were not, nor never would have been on my radar. (Paris???) I guess only time will tell.

The part I was most impressed with was the no-nonsense approach that Chris took. He didn’t try to bring in the ‘love and light’ aspect that first comes to mind when thinking of psychic mediums (for me at least). Chris tells you what he sees, pure and simple, and I appreciate that. He also has an easy-going demeanor which makes it an enjoyable experience. He doesn’t want to know too much going into the reading so he does a lot of the talking. That was a huge plus for me since I am extremely introverted when not using pen and paper (or in this case, a keyboard). Perhaps most importantly, Chris truly wants to use his abilities to help people. Ordinarily I would wonder if this was just part of a professional’s public relations but in this case, I could tell it was the genuine article. Chris really does care.

After these two experiences, we knew we had to interview Chris. Hopefully some of our readers will contact him and in turn Chris can help those people. Sounds like a win-win situation if I’ve ever heard of one.

[John] Cut to February 9, 2016, when we were finally able to sit down and enjoy a great phone chat with Chris wherein he graciously answered all of our many questions. We experienced some laughs and light-hearted moments and also had some very thoughtful and reflective times. We enjoyed the talk and we hope you will to.

So go grab yourself a cozy beverage and settle in for the first of our five-part interview with Psychic Medium Chris Medina of Platinum Predictions. (Part Two will be out soon!)

[John] What is a Psychic and what is a Medium and what does it mean when the two are combined?

[Chris] Okay. I always refer to myself as a Psychic first and foremost. A Psychic, to me, is someone that gets impressions or that can predict or see things, whether it be the past, present or future. People will say ‘well how do you get that information?’ - I don’t know, other than the way that I get it you know, it’s just information that’s automatically placed into my head. I don’t hear a voice. It allows me to kind of go off – especially when I’m doing a reading and it’s face-to-face – to kind of go off and look at that person and get images of what they were like as a child, who they are as a person, things that they may have in their house. It gives me a glimpse and a peek into their life. Being able to answer questions that they need answers to, whether it’s on a spiritual journey, on a personal or on a therapeutic-type level, that’s basically how my abilities work and what I consider psychic is when I get information from somewhere else.

As far as my mediumship abilities, that goes hand-in-hand with the psychic [abilities]. Whether I’m giving a reading face-to-face or on the telephone, if there’s someone from the other side that wants to come through I’ll (so-to-speak) ‘hear’ that person. I was doing a reading the other night and a woman came through and she said ‘Oh ask him about Linda’ and I said ‘Um, there’s somebody Linda on the other side’ and that usually confirms for that person right then and there that there’s someone that they know on the other side. They’ll say ‘oh Linda is so-and-so’ and so that’s usually how it happens. Once that starts going, I’ll get more and more information coming through from other relatives that have come through from the other side. Or I’ll pick up, whether it’s home, I’ll pick up on different energies or spirits that come through that want to just make contact with me.

I get a lot of passers-by. My house is so active, especially at night. To me, the way that I look at it is being like a light to them. They can sense that I feel them and I can hear them, so what they’ll do is they’ll try to make contact here in the house. They’ll tap something or they’ll try to talk to me when I’m asleep. Very rarely do I actually see the entity; I get a mental picture of what they looked like when they were alive. I can think of only a handful of times that I’ve actually seen an apparition or spirit in front of me. I usually just get to hear them. I don’t usually see them, thank God.

John’s note: Chris was laughing a bit with his last couple of statements about happily not seeing apparitions and that really sparked my curiosity. My naïve self assumed that someone who hears and feels and deals with those on the other side, would have no issue at all with seeing them especially when incorporating this into his life’s work.

[John] I’m curious about the difference for you in hearing them but not necessarily wanting to see them. Why is that?

[Chris] I had bad experiences when I was a kid. I used to think they were nightmares but they were actually things that I was seeing and I just put it out there that I’d rather not see them. I don’t know if I blocked it or how that worked but unless they’re really forceful I don’t see them, I usually hear them. I will see them in my mind’s eye, like a Polaroid picture of who they were. If they’re in the room here I’ll blink my eyes and I can actually see them where they’re standing in the room but not physically, not in the present. It’s always in my mind’s eye, unless there’s a passer-by that comes through in the house; the other day I was walking up the stairs and I just saw a pair of legs just walking across the stairway.

I prefer not to see them. I watched a lot of scary movies growing up and it’s enough to be able to feel them at night. I sleep with the television on sometimes because it can get that intense. Or they’ll get me right when I’m ready to doze off and fall asleep, I’ll wake up because I can hear someone talking to me and I actually hear myself answering them back.

A lot of times too, when I do medium readings, people want to connect with loved ones on the other side; but there are a lot of misconceptions about when you pass away that you’re automatically renewed or your soul is lifted and that’s not the case sometimes. A lot of times the person that once was still remains that person.

I gave a reading to a woman whose father was kind of racist and when he was talking to me, answering back the questions she was asking, he was really rude. He said ‘under normal circumstances I wouldn’t waste my time with a —’ he made a [derogatory] gay comment and I said ‘Whoa! I don’t know if this was your father speaking; was he a racist man?’ She said ‘Oh yeah.’ She asked me what he was saying and I told her; she said it sounded just like him.

I had another woman whose mother came through. The woman wanted information in regards to family secrets and things that were going on and the mom came through and she said ‘I am not going to discuss this again! Tell her she needs to leave well enough alone and lay off!’

When I start to do those readings, a lot of other things will start to come through too – people that aren’t even related come through. I don’t know if they can sense what’s going on, so I asked her if she’d had this conversation with her mother prior to her death and was she upset having this conversation. The woman said yes, that her mother didn’t want to have the conversation with her. So I told her that her mother was adamant that she needed to leave it alone. The mother said that she was going to get up and walk out if the daughter didn’t stop with these questions.

[John] Wow. It’s interesting that we do automatically assume that everything changes once you die and that the person becomes something completely different; that we have that preconceived notion when the reality could be very different.

END PART 1

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Well dear friends, so ends the first part of our interview with Chris Medina. We had such a great time talking to Chris that we have so much more to share with you. Please stay tuned for Part Two to be released very soon!

Here’s a question for you… if you were able to choose between seeing a ghost or hearing one, what would you prefer? Tweet us @carbonlilies or comment on our Facebook page to let us know and tell us why!

Would you like to contact Chris Medina? Check out the links below…

Website

Twitter

Facebook

Instagram