FEAR

Reflections

AUGUST 11th, 2015

By JOHN LILIES

On the evening of Thursday, July 30, 2015 Lana and I had the privilege to watch a live-streamed interactive interview online. Patrick Keller, host of The Big Séance Podcast, interviewed Karen A. Dahlman for the first time live on camera.

Before this live interview, Karen A. Dahlman had twice been a guest on Patrick’s podcast, co-hosted the podcast once and had also been a contributor to The Big Séance podcast twice; so perhaps it is the familiarity between these two intriguing individuals that led to me feeling more like I was hanging out in Karen’s living room participating in a wonderful discussion than actually watching an interview. The ability for those of us tuning in via Google+ to ask questions in real time and comment, made it even more like a friendly chat. This was my first time participating in such a way with an interview process and it was truly enjoyable.

Both Lana & I were keen to watch this live event and I was very curious to learn more from Karen. While Lana is quite fond of Ouija boards, I have had only one experience with a board in high school and I still don’t know if I trust that we actually had a response or if it was the friend I was with, having fun with me.

I was raised being told that Ouija boards are evil. Though I’m skeptical of everything (as much a skeptic as I am a believer) the bad reputation of Ouija has penetrated my skin and try though I might, I could never shake the fear of what could happen when using a board. I’ve heard stories from friends over the years that always seemed to have bad experiences and though I really didn’t believe anything had happened, I suppose subconsciously I was scared to not believe. The one experience I did have with my friend wasn’t particularly bad - if in fact it was real. He used his board once in a while and said there was a female spirit who seemed to have a crush on him and she didn’t like it when he used the board with another girl. I told him I didn’t think the board really works - that I could never trust the other people to not be the ones moving the planchette. So with that, we sat at his kitchen table - me trying to trust him and remain open and brave while not sure anything would happen and a little afraid, him believing strongly in the experience and wanting to share it with me. Out came the board and we positioned ourselves on either side of it. He asked questions and the planchette moved to give us the answers. I don’t remember what was asked or what the answers were but I do remember my friend ending the session saying, “She’s mad that you’re here so we should stop. I had hoped she’d be okay with you.” (Don’t forget I’m the girl in the Carbon Lilies duo though my name is John.) That’s all I remember of it. Nothing bad. Nothing remarkable. Yet I still had this deep fear of the whole process… Of the board itself.

Enter Lana. When Lana and I joined our lives, I made it clear that him Ouija board could not be a part of the equation. Harsh, yes but I was so scared of having a board in our home that I just couldn’t have it here. Some weeks after we moved in together, we discovered Lana’s board in a suitcase. The look on Lana’s face said it all - he had no idea it had been packed in there and he was terrified I’d send him away with the board. I didn’t. I knew he hadn’t realized the board had made the trip with him and I decided I needed to move through my fear and learn to accept the board.

I spent the next two weeks awake in bed each night and when I did sleep it was restless and filled with dreams of negative energy all stemming from the board itself. When I was in the apartment - particularly when I was the only one home or the only one awake, I would have to force myself to stop picturing the board and I focussed as much positive energy towards it as I could. It seems so silly but I was so afraid of what the board could possibly do that I finally found myself in tears one morning because I couldn’t stop thinking about my fear of it. So I reached out to my guides. I asked my guides to help me see the board as a neutral object and to understand it for what it really is, and to help me eliminate my fear.

A few weeks later I realized I wasn’t thinking about the board as much and when I did, it was with loving energy towards it and a declaration that I was the one in control.

Enter Karen A. Dahlman. Lana had been reading books by Karen A. Dahlman and was excited for me to read them, hoping the experience would help me understand and be more accepting of Ouija. I wasn’t ready.

Enter Patrick Keller. I had listened to all of Patrick’s interviews with Karen and I knew I wasn’t at all afraid when I heard Karen speak about Ouija. When I heard the interview about Karen’s book “The Spirit of Creativity: Embodying Your Soul’s Passion” I knew I would need to read it and then a few months later we heard Patrick talk about this live interview coming up; we planned our schedules so we could tune in and I could not be happier with that decision.

For those of you unfamiliar with Patrick Keller (please fix that situation now!) he has a welcoming voice with an authentic approach to his craft and we always feel at home when we listen to The Big Séance podcast. Combine this with the reassuring, calming and confident voice of Karen A. Dahlman and you have a wonderful experience to enjoy.

Lana and I tuned in to the interview with great anticipation. I had debated submitting a question to Patrick in advance of the interview but wasn’t sure I was ready to talk about my fear of the Ouija board. While watching the interview however, I was overwhelmed with a sense that it was the right moment for some guidance. I felt so at ease listening to and watching Karen talk about her experiences and while she was answering another question with information that physically and spiritually warmed me, I typed in my question explaining my anxiety and that I would really like to be okay with the board and shed my fear entirely.

Karen’s response was perfect and in those few short minutes of listening to the seemingly obvious answer, hearing that the board “is just a tool” forced something in me to click and I suddenly felt okay with it all. Of course it is just a tool. It’s no different from any other object… It’s just matter. Energy. Molecules vibrating against each other at different rates to form a solid mass. Like anything else in life it’s the meaning we assign to the object that makes it important. Karen had already answered another viewer’s question stating that one needs to feel strong within and feel in control of one’s energy to have a safe and positive experience when using a board. That connected with me because I knew my distress would create a negative experience and I had already been working at shifting my energy towards Lana’s board. With everything that Karen shared in her chat with Patrick and those of us intensely watching, I felt as though a hand had been placed on my shoulder, reassuring me and guiding me. For this I am deeply grateful.

The funny part was my epiphany after the interview ended and I was explaining to Lana how much better I felt. It suddenly dawned on me that I use energy daily in everything I do. I was trained in Reiki over 15 years ago and though I tend to move away from my centre at different times, I always return and my guides are always at my side. I’ve believed in energy since I was 13 and knew that my vision of the world was based in energy and molecules. I’ve always used energy to calm myself and after studying Reiki, energy has been my guiding principle in everything I do from managing stress to refocusing my energy on a bad day to connecting with my loved ones who have passed.

Yes… That’s right. I have no problem talking to my guides and reaching out to the people I love who have moved on to another journey, asking for help and guidance. Yet communicating and connecting through a vehicle outside of my own self terrifies me. Silliness is what that is. I feel in complete control when I use myself to connect. I’ve sensed things, seen things and felt things my entire life without fear and yet the concept of the overly dramatized object called the Ouija board, available at your local toy store, frightens me to tears.

And with that realization I laughed. I also haven’t been afraid since. Well not entirely. There is still that voice in the back of my head that has lived there since I was a child when I was first told the board is bad. That voice isn’t as loud though and I’m now able to lower its volume further.

I’m not yet feeling in control enough to use the board and because I’m still nervous of my own energy towards it I’m not able to give Lana the ‘okay’ to use it in our house yet. That time will likely come though… perhaps after some experiences outside of our home first.

I have a lot to learn about energy & connecting with energies around me. Though I’ve been told I’m an empath and very sensitive and though I’ve had many ‘paranormal’ experiences, I’ve never really tried developing myself to better understand what I can do and how to focus it all. I suppose there are still aspects of it that scare me and I don’t always trust that my experience is genuine and uninfluenced by my surroundings or my own thoughts. I do plan to work on it though and the comforting realizations I gained from Karen A. Dahlman’s wise words, have gently pushed me towards that goal.

Thank you so very much Karen and Patrick. I will be forever grateful to you both for the profound and insightful experience you provided me.

**

Have you missed out on Karen’s involvement with the Big Séance podcast? Don’t wait any longer! Check out The Big Séance podcast:

Episode #5 (July 23, 2014 guest)

Episode #17 (October 16, 2014 co-host)

Episode #19 (October 29, 2014 contributor)

Episode #24 (December 23, 2014 contributor)

Episode #29 (February 19, 2015 guest)